“Sure, honey. That would be great.” My mom heads back inside. “And tell Mason he’s welcome to come over for dinner after the beach.”
I whip around just in time to see her disappear behind the closed door. How did she know?
My dad chuckles, apparently reading my shock. “She’s an observant woman, Bea.” He scratches his bearded cheek. “The Good Lord has blessed her with discernment like I’ve never seen.”
“It’s freaky.”
He chuckles and throws an arm over my shoulder. “It can be.”
We swing in silence for a few minutes, and the sun dips further behind the mountains. The air cools slightly, and the scent of pine soothes me along with the gentle sway of the swing and the safety of my dad’s arm.
“So . . .”
I know that tone and exactly where it’s going. Steeling my resolve, I blow out a long breath, and the sense of what’s coming weighs heavy in the air.
“Vegas is treating you well?”
Not again. “It’s alright, Daddy.”
“You find a church over there yet?”
“You know I haven’t stepped inside a church since the funeral.”
“Hmm . . .” The squeak of the swing fills the silence and mimics a countdown.
In five . . . four . . . three . . .
I squeeze closed my eyes. Please don’t ask, please don’t ask—
“Still dancing . . .” Blastoff! “I assume?” There’s no judgment in his voice, but there’s the unmistakable twang of disappointment, which is worse.
I don’t answer and keep my eyes forward. I can’t tell him the reasons why I’m there. He’ll tell me that I’m wasting my time, that Svetlana’s killers can’t run forever and eventually they’ll have to face the ultimate judgment and that alone will be enough.
I disagree.
I want whoever tortured and mutilated my sister to spend the rest of their breathing days in prison before they get to spend an eternity in hell.
But that’s me. I’m not nearly as forgiving as my dad.
“Beatriks . . . no one can worship both God and money.” He quotes the Bible in such an everyday way that proves he really lives by the word.
“I don’t do it for the money.” I do it for Svetlana.
He groans and squeezes me tighter in a way that feels like reassurance or possibly worry. “The Bible says our body is a temple for The Holy Spirit—”
“I know that, Dad.” The words come out harsher than I intend, but the fact that he insists on repeating things we’ve been over a hundred times is infuriating. Not to mention, he’s absolutely right. I focus on steady breathing and hope my voice doesn’t shake. “It’s just a job.”
“To you, it’s just a job. But there are men you dance for who are struggling in their marriages, dipping into pornography. You have to consider the stumbling block that your dancing is to—”
“That’s not my problem. Grown men are capable of making decisions for themselves.” I turn and look at him. “Free will, right? They want to screw their lives up, destroy their marriages; they have the right to do that. Don’t blame me for it.”
He nods and takes my hand in a gentle hold. “I don’t blame you. I just don’t want you to look back and wish you’d spent time doing something more with your life. Something that involves serving and helping others. That’s where true joy lives.”
Bitterness wells up in my gut and turns my stomach. Serving others. That’s what my parents have always preached to us. The joy in giving. The blessing in selflessness. But it doesn’t always work out for everyone, now does it?
“True joy?” I sit up and put down a foot to stop the swing. “Dad, it was Lana’s selflessness that got her killed.”
He blanches but recovers quickly. “No, it was the sin and the brokenness of man that killed your sister. It—”
“She pulled her car over to help. It was dark, and she knew if she drove by a person in need without stopping she’d be letting you down, letting God down. She’d never be able to look at herself in the mirror. That was Lana, Dad.”
“Honey—”
“She never should’ve stopped. If she never stopped, she’d be here.” And I wouldn’t be stripping! “She’d be sitting right here with us, but she’s not.” I push up from the swing.
“No, but she’s with our Father in heaven, and that’s better than—”
“Don’t.” I hold up my hand. “Please, don’t tell me that her being in heaven is better than her being here with us.”