He wasn’t convinced and demanded the number to my OB. Another five minutes later they verified what mom had said.
I’m losing the baby.
“The doctor said to take you to the hospital if you get a fever or if the bleeding gets worse.” She runs her fingers through my hair. “I’m sorry, honey.”
I sniff back tears. “What if it was something I did, ya know? I don’t think I drank enough water and—”
“Shh…your doctor said this isn’t uncommon. For whatever reason, the baby wasn’t healthy enough to grow.” She nods and continues to stroke my hair. “She’d mentioned that the father’s lifestyle might have something to do with it, or it could’ve been any of a bunch of different factors that have nothing to do with you.”
That makes sense. Who knows what drugs the guy was using and what all they were doing to his sperm?
“I can’t help but feel like I lost something important. Really, really important.”
“You bond instantly with your baby on some primal level, even if you’re not fully aware of it.”
I wipe a wayward tear from my cheek. “I didn’t realize how much I loved him until I lost him.”
Her smile quivers. “He was a boy, huh?”
“Maybe.” Or maybe the loss I’m feeling is for my best friend. Because not having him here when I need him most amplifies the hole in my heart he left behind.
“It’ll be okay, Axelle. I promise. You’ll bounce back and finish college, get married, and have as many babies as you want.”
“How’s our patient?” Blake stands in the doorway, keeping his distance while lending support.
Mom turns toward him. “Better. Did you get Jack back to sleep?”
He nods. “Out like a light.”
“What did you tell Ryder?” The last thing I want to do is explain that I miscarried, seeing as he never even knew I was pregnant.
“Told him you got sick to your stomach but that you’re feeling better and resting.”
“Thank you.”
“You girls have everything you need in here? Want me to bring you some water?”
Mom looks down at me. “That’d be great.”
“You don’t have to stay with me all night, Mom.”
“I know, but I want to.” She climbs under the covers and pulls me to her chest. “You’ll always be my baby, Axelle, and right now I just want to hold you.”
I snuggle in close, absorbing the warmth of her touch.
Blake places two glasses of water on the side table and then kisses me on the forehead and Mom on the lips. “I’ll be right across the hall if you need me.”
“We know.” My mom holds me closer.
“Blake?”
“Yeah, kiddo.”
“Please, don’t tell him, okay?”
He doesn’t need me to say his name to know who I’m talking about. “Think he’ll figure it out on his own when nine months come and go. You sure you don’t think he should know?”
I shake my head. “You know him; he’ll worry. He might try to come home, and”—my heart shatters—“I don’t want to be his reason for coming home.”
Blake studies the floor for a few beats then nods. “Alright, I won’t tell him, but I’m going to be honest here and say I think he needs to know. You’re the most important person in his life, Axelle. When he finds out we all kept this from him, I don’t think he’s going to be happy about it.”
“I’ll cross that bridge when I get there. For now, the only people who know about the pregnancy are Clifford, who didn’t believe me anyway, Killian, and the three of us. I’d like to move forward, pretending these last two months were a dream, and go on with my life.”
“It’s your call, sweetheart,” my mom murmurs.
“My lips are sealed, kiddo. Now you two get some sleep. Love you.”
“Love you too,” we say in unison.
And shortly afterward I fall sound asleep in my mom’s arms.
Twenty-seven
Two months later…
Killian
There’s got to be one hundred fifty people in the small Irish pub we’ve taken over for the night. Having met the maximum occupancy hours ago, the manager closed the doors to the public, but a crowd gathers in the street, celebrating along with us.
My second win.
Another knockout.
This one in fifty-eight seconds.
Liam pushes his way through the crowd around me and shoves a pint into my hand, spilling dark beer over my knuckles, not that I care. “Drink up, mate!” He yells to be heard over the voices of hammered fans and music. “We’re back at it on Monday!”
“I’m ready now!” I tilt the glass to my lips, losing my balance