into our faces. “You have plans for Valentine’s Day, Killian?”
I fan away the fumes and stare at my friend, more interested in his answer than I bet Clifford is.
Killian’s gaze stays on mine and he nods. “I do.”
It’s like a kick to the chest, but I push through the unwarranted pain and smile. “With Brynn?”
He grins shyly and nods.
I know that smile. He likes her. God, why does that hurt so bad?
“Nice, well if you’re interested, we’re having a Fuck V-day party at my place that night.”
I jerk my head to Clifford. “What? I thought we were—”
“Oh, we’re going out first, but afterward we’re having a party.” He must see the disappointment on my face because his expression grows soft. “Hey, don’t worry. You’ll love what I have planned.”
The last thing I want to do on the anniversary of that day is be stuck at an obnoxious party with Clifford’s stupid friends.
Killian’s eyes communicate so much as he stares across the table at me: sadness, sympathy, and maybe some regret.
“Listen, I, uh…” I wad up my trash and grab my backpack. “I’m going to skip my next class and head home for a bit. I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, and I’m feeling pretty crappy.”
“Sounds good, babe.”
Killian pushes up from his seat. “I’ll walk you to your car.”
“Dude.” Clifford stands too, blowing noxious smoke between the three of us. “You act like she’s walking around without a burka in Afghanistan. I think she can get to her car okay without an escort.”
Killian doesn’t acknowledge Clifford’s lame territorial display and takes my trash to the can for me. He grabs my backpack like we’re some old couple that has been taking care of each other for the last fifty years, and as much as I wish I could tell him to give it back and I can carry it myself, I don’t.
I step up to Clifford to give him a hug good-bye, but he dips down for a kiss. I turn my head and his smoky lips press against my cheek. “No kiss, huh?”
Is he fucking serious? “I told you I don’t feel good.”
“Alright, alright.” He throws his arms up. “Whatever.”
I turn to Killian, who’s waiting patiently but scowling hard at Clifford. As soon as we’re out of earshot, he mutters, “That guy is such an ass.”
For the first time today, a genuine smile pulls at my lips.
Killian walks me to my car, throws my backpack in the back, and makes me promise I’ll text him as soon as I get home so he knows I’m safe.
Always taking such good care of me.
What would I ever do without him?
Maybe that’s what I was feeling earlier when I saw him with Brynn. If he dated someone else, I’d lose him. After all, how many girls would put up with how close we are? The occasional sleepover, him dragging me out of parties drunk, leaving to walk me to my car because I’m sick, no girl would be okay with that.
I swallow back bile as it rushes up to my throat.
I can’t lose him to someone else.
But I can’t allow him to pass up on a chance at happiness with someone else either.
Ten
Killian
“I realize it’s Valentine’s Day, but I’m not dropping three-hundo just to feed my date.” Ryder grunts through his last few reps under the bench press, slams the bar back on the rack, and sits up. “It’d be one thing if she was my woman, but I’ve made it clear this is a onetime thing with her.”
I swipe sweat from my forehead with the towel that’s draped around my neck. “And how exactly did you do that?”
He pulls weights off the bar and shrugs. “Flat out told her we’d go out and have a great time, make it an all-nighter if she’s interested, but I’m not looking to date anyone exclusively.”
“She was cool with that?”
“Seemed to be.” He loads the bar with heavier weight. “I figure we’d have a lot more fun if we went into the night, knowing what the expectations are.”
I chuckle and head to the pull-up bar. “Yeah, but it kinda robs the illusion of romance. Why not just go and let the date play out?”
“Because it’s Valentine’s Day and girls get weird about this fucking holiday. Everything means more than it is. A date is a promise of commitment. Sex is practically a wedding proposal. And whatever you do, don’t buy her a gift. That’s the kiss of death for the casual relationship.”