but I could barely summon the strength to even breathe. I'd sent that text to help her, to give her some space. Clearly, I had no idea what happened in Serafina's mind.
The silence must have been longer than I thought. “Please,” she whispered, her brow heavy. “Say something, Ben.”
“Didn't need you?” I croaked. “Serafina . . . I love you.”
She sucked in a sharp breath. The words rolled out of me now, pressured. Intense. Brought from the depths of the cavern inside me that she'd left behind. They'd never felt so right.
“Not just because you take care of us. But because you are light and goodness and warmth and concern and everything I've always wanted but never had. You're the other half, Sera. The only other half of our family. Not just me, but Ava too. She loves you. She fought for you. She was so angry at me today that I . . . I realized it was my turn to be a fighter too.”
Tears filled her eyes when I reached across the space and grabbed her arm. She hiccuped, like she was trying to hide a sob.
“Sera, I love you.”
“What about Sadie?” she whispered.
Sadie. My heart clenched, but I forced it to release. “I found a counselor just a few hours ago, one that can speak with me and Ava apart, and then together. Ava agreed to go. We both need it. You're right. Sadie has some power over me still, and I've let her. I've been so afraid of becoming her that I've forgotten how to trust myself. And others,” I tacked on.
My fingers slipped down her arm and wrapped around hers. She accepted them, threading hers through mine, and my heart soared with the hope it inspired. I wasn't out of the darkness yet, but one step closer.
“I came back to ask you what you wanted,” I said. “Instead of trying to save you from me, I . . . realized it was your choice. That you deserve the chance to say something. So I want to ask you what you wa—”
“You.” She nodded. “I want you and Ava and I want to stay and I want to try this out as someone that deeply cares about both of you, not as a nanny or paid employee or any of that. I want a chance, Ben.”
My heart fluttered. “Us?” I whispered. “It can't be just me. You'll never get just me.”
“Both of you,” she said quietly.
Her fingers squeezed mine.
There were things to talk about. Long discussions to have that would seal this. Expectations. Alignment. We had issues to sort through and talk about, but none of that mattered. The eagerness in her voice. The bittersweet agony in her expression. That was all that mattered now.
I yanked her off the cushion and into my arms. Her warm body slammed into my chest, but before she could so much as grunt over it, I had my hands on her face. My fingers in her hair. My lips on hers. The smell of coconut filled my nostrils until I considered the fact that I might have died.
Serafina.
In my arms.
And that would never change.
30
Serafina
Benjamin's lips on mine felt like coming home.
I lay on top of him until he broke the kiss. In a move so fast I didn't comprehend what happened until it was too late, he wrapped an arm around my waist and swept me down. A breath later, I lay on my back on the couch and stared up at him. His weight was heavy on top of me, but not crushing. Breathless, I reached up to touch his face.
“Ben?”
“I'm sorry, Serafina. I'm so sorry.”
Tears spilled out of my eyes again. “Me too. I don't want to leave. And I'm scared. I think Amber did all this and I don't want to be alone and what if she—”
He silenced me with the gentlest of kisses. The ease of his lips against mine stole my breath again. His hand splayed across my cheeks and into my hair. He held me so close that I felt my heart slam against him. My fears quieted.
Benjamin had me now, and this security wasn't a dream.
“You're not staying here tonight,” he growled. “It's not safe. You're coming home with me, where I'll keep you safe. And if you say no, then I'll sleep here. And if you say no to that, I'll sleep on the floor downstairs.”
Laughing, I said, “I won't say no.”
He smiled softly and tucked a piece of hair behind my