I ran a hand through my hair, a bitter taste in my mouth. The last thing I wanted to discuss was Sadie, but it had to happen. Serafina deserved it. But the thought of Sadie's ugly shadow reaching Sera made me internally recoil.
How did she always manage to haunt me?
“Sadie was a fan of mine,” I said, punching a fist into my other hand with a soft, quiet rhythm. My teeth clacked together while I tried to think about how to lay this story out. “She worked at the gym where I did most of my training and followed my career as it moved up and up and up. We would talk whenever I saw her and, eventually, I asked her out.”
My chest ached just thinking about the early days with Sadie. The good days, when we were just two people that liked to be around each other. Before the shadow of reality extended over even the best of memories.
“It was great at first. Young love. My career grew and she was at my side. Then it got . . . rocky. We fought. She grew jealous of other fans. Accused me of cheating on her all the time. Sadie was something of a party girl and loved the spotlight. It's like she craved attention. She was obsessed with the magazine features, social media, you name it. She ran most of my PR for a while, and that was a mistake I didn't realize I'd made at first.”
Serafina hadn't moved from her position on the couch, but I didn't sense any tension from her, so I kept going.
“We were constantly breaking up, then coming back together. She couldn't control her jealousy and I stayed with her because she kept most of the other people off my back. Sadie, for all her faults, was key to my career growing the way it did. As a PR manager, she did her job very well. People had a way of just . . . doing what she wanted. Myself included. Then she let me know she was pregnant, and she broke up with me. For the last time.”
Sera's eyes widened. Her lips rounded in silent shock. A bitter laugh bubbled out of my chest.
“Yeah. She left. At first, I thought it was one of her manipulations, but I soon realized it was real. I kept up with her as best I could. Paid child support. Saw Ava every chance I had, but Sadie never made it easy. She'd go missing for weeks and visit her family without telling me. She'd send me pictures and then just stop. Tell me lies about what the pediatrician was saying.” I ran a hand through my hair. “It was a disaster. Then last summer Sadie was at a party with some friends. She must have been horribly drunk, somehow got ahold of her car keys, and tried to drive home. She crashed, then died the next day.”
A warm hand settled on my wrist. I looked up to see Sera with a mixture of concern and compassion on her face. Did I look wrecked? I felt it. Those hours with Ava, at Sadie's bedside in the hospital, filtered back through my mind. Ava had been limp against my body, crying so hard in my arms that she'd thrown up, as Sadie slipped away.
“I don't mourn Sadie much,” I admitted, and felt like a cold bastard for the harshness of the truth. “Maybe what we could have been, or her presence in Ava's life, but Sadie spent too long getting in between me and Ava for me to be sad she's gone. Sadie was determined to make me as miserable as possible.”
“She sounds like a lovely person,” Serafina murmured wryly, and something in her response crashed the tension in the air.
“She tried,” I said, “but she hated me too much. Ava came to live with me last summer after it happened, which is when I came to stay with Mav. I needed his help. I'm not sure what life was like for Ava with Sadie. She refuses to talk about her Mom. But I don't think it was great. She's behind in school, seemed to spend way too much time on her tablet, and is wary of me.”
“Think she dragged Ava with her to her parties?”
“Probably.” He nodded. “Social events, social ladders, publicity. It was her love. Her god. She wanted more and more and more and I just wanted