Fight Like a Girl - Sheena Kamal Page 0,29
terrible as you clearly are.”
Since we’re already on our way to the test centre, I ignore this. It’s my last test before I get my full licence.
I’m not nervous until I’m outside waiting for the guy giving the test. He saunters out to the back lot where I’m parked. I take in his baby face, the sparse moustache that’s trying to crawl across his lip but not succeeding, and I know that it’s not going to go well for me.
I start off okay, up until the ramp to the highway, then the panic sets in. He’s judging everything I do, checking things off with a flick of his pencil. I speed up and put my signal on, see another car coming up fast before I merge…
I scream and pump the brakes hard.
We both go slamming forward into our seatbelt then back to the seat.
“Put on your hazards,” he says. Now he’s looking at me for real, like I just tried to kill him, which I guess is a reasonable position to take.
We switch seats, and he drives us back to the test centre because I’m a blubbering mess. Columbus is waiting for me in the seating area. The grin on his face dies when he sees me come in with the examiner. I’m still shaking. Columbus pats me awkwardly on the back but, for once, knows better than to say anything.
* * *
Word gets out that I’m officially a menace on the road. Nobody’s all that surprised. Aunty K calls to talk to me about it but ends up blaming Dad for everything that went wrong with my life and Ma’s. “That monster. He’s taken so much from your childhood, Trisha, and now he takes this milestone, too.”
Um. Okay, Aunty.
Ravi offers to give me driving lessons, but I stare at him so hard that he turns back to the television and continues to ignore me for the rest of the day, until Ma gets home. Then he decides he’s got to be elsewhere, for once.
Now it’s just the two of us.
She comes downstairs, her hair still wet from the shower, and makes us some tea. With steaming mugs at our sides, I sit between her legs and let her rub coconut oil into my hair, separating it into sections and working the oil lightly through the strands, the way she used to do all the time when I was a kid. She doesn’t do it as much anymore, so it feels especially nice. Her back is to the window, a stream of sunlight warming her. “Ahh,” she sighs, stretching her fingers up into the light before returning them to me. “Only way to dry your hair is in the sun.”
It never gets old, hearing this.
“We’ll schedule another test soon,” she says, after a moment. “We should have waited a bit, anyway.”
“There’s a fee this time. If you don’t pass and have to take it again.”
“Don’t worry about that, baby.” Her voice as light as the fingertips that graze through my scalp. She pulls my hair into a French braid that snakes down my back. The sun dims around us, the tea cools.
I sink into the feeling, relaxing so much I’m almost asleep when I say: “Do you ever wish you didn’t have me, Ma? How your life would have been?”
For a moment, I’m not sure if she’s heard me. “Never,” she says, breathing into my hair, the stream of air from her nose tickling my scalp. Then she kisses my forehead, just at the edge of my hairline, transferring the warmth she collected from the sunshine to me. I feel like a kid again, but that’s alright, especially after the day I had. “Let’s order some dinner. What do you want?”
“But it’s not the end of the month.”
She laughs. “We can make an exception this one time. Let’s order. Your choice.”
After the Thai food arrives, she transfers some money to me, more than I’ve ever seen in my bank account. More than I need to reschedule the test, anyway. Whatever, I’m not going to complain. There’s end-of-the-month takeout in my belly and we’re still a couple weeks away from that treat. I failed my test and Ma, she’s showing me she’ll take care of me no matter what. The kiss on my forehead is still warm. It spreads through me, warming me throughout the night and as I fall into sleep.
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised when the nightmares come, though. Shows how stupid I am. The screech of the