Fiends and Familiars - Debra Dunbar Page 0,8

got a sharp beak and it hissed at me.”

I rolled my eyes. Yeth was terrified of birds. This pet was probably a parakeet and he’d peed himself at the first chirp. “Do I need to send in another hellhound?”

Yeth stood up on his hind legs, holding his front paws up in front of him. “No! No, Master. I can…I can face down the bird. I’ll go back.”

I had my doubts about Yeth, but I was a fair demon and I believed in second chances. Sometimes.

The hellhound left and I turned my attention back to the politician on the treadmill. He was a writhing puking mess on the ground and I’d moved on to torturing one of those guys who ran the Nigerian prince scams when Yeth returned.

“He’s definitely in the house, Master,” the hellhound announced.

I spread my hands wide. “Did you not hear me before? Bring him to me.”

Yeth squirmed. “The human woman has something around her house that prevents me from entering. Although she was kind enough to throw me some very tasty rib bones. They weren’t as good as the liver treats she gave me earlier, but I quite enjoyed them.”

I couldn’t believe this. Yeth used to be a decent hellhound, fear of birds aside. What had happened to him? Why was he suddenly turning into a lap dog over liver treats and rib bones?

“Go back and bring him to me. I don’t care if she gives you a T-bone steak, get in that house and bring him back. Understand?”

“But Master, there is something around the house that—”

I waved my hand, inadvertently smacking the scammer in the head with the whip I’d been holding. Oh well. He deserved it.

“I. Don’t. Care. Go. And don’t come back without him.”

Yeth took off with his tail between his legs, and I renewed my efforts to punish the scammer.

“It’s impossible to get good help,” I complained to the man. “Maybe I should send Barghest instead. Or Cerberus.”

The man moaned.

“I know, I know. Still, I shouldn’t have to go myself to do such a thing.”

I really shouldn’t, but perhaps I was trusting Yeth a bit more than I should. With his fear of birds and his apparent weakness of being bribed by meat products, I worried he might fail once more.

“Here.” I handed the whip to the scammer. “Keep hitting yourself with this. I’ve got something I need to do.”

Heading out into the mists, I made my way past the torture rings and into the residential areas of hell. I didn’t often use my home because work was so incredibly enjoyable. Why would I want to do something such as sleep or socialize when I lived for my job? There was no need for hobbies when my nine-to-five was my hobby. When you love what you do, then it’s not really work, is it?

But for this I needed to concentrate, and that was hard to do with souls screaming and wailing.

My residence was a bit stark and smelled of brimstone—which was understandable since it had probably been two months since I’d been there. I brushed the ashes off my bed and sprawled across the crimson sheets, resting my horned head on the pillow. Just a quick peek, and then I’d get back to that scammer. I’d just project myself into the mortal plane, using Yeth’s location for guidance. Once he had Faust’s soul, then I’d return to my work. But if the hellhound got distracted by liver treats or scary giant parakeets, then he was going to find himself the one drinking a quart of spoiled milk and running on the treadmill.

I closed my eyes and projected myself, racing through the ether, across the fields and to a completely unremarkable neighborhood. If I hadn’t seen Yeth skulking his way across the lawn, I would never have known this was the house. They all looked exactly the same. What a perfect place for Faust to hide. With a blink my spirit was inside the house, inside a bedroom that did not smell like brimstone and did not have ashes on the sheets. I took a second to orient myself, and noticed the truly giant bird on the footboard of the bed.

Huh. I guess Yeth wasn’t exaggerating after all. That really was one big-ass bird. I waited a second to see if the vulture could see me, but he remained asleep. Reassured, I opened up my senses and took it all in. There was a lingering scent of buttery popcorn coming from outside the bedroom,