the top will be different than anyone else's, but until I run out of road, I'm not quitting."
"I've seen some of your bulldog stubbornness. It's impressive."
"You don't seem like the kind of man who just quits something because it's not working. You seem like someone who would fight."
"Maybe I just need to fight for something else."
"That could be true. You have to want it to fight for it. And if you don't really want it, then maybe you should find what you do want."
"It's not always that easy."
"It's not always that hard. Is there anything else you've ever thought of doing?"
He hesitated and then shrugged. "Bartending isn't bad. New people at the bar every night. I get to hear some good stories, and I don't have to take my work home with me."
"But is it enough?" she challenged.
"Maybe. I don't worry that much about the future. I think short term, not long term. It makes things simpler."
"And you don't like complicated."
"Fewer headaches."
"But you have a sharp, inquisitive mind. The way you've helped me analyze the data I've been getting is impressive. I don't know, Jax. I feel like there's something you're not telling me about your career aspirations. Like you don't quite add up."
"You don't add up, either, Maya. That's what makes you interesting. Hopefully, that's what makes me interesting."
She smiled. "You do have me very interested."
"Tell me about your actual job. What do you do when you're not trying to crack a cold case?"
"I make a lot of coffee runs. I read scripts, go to meetings, run errands, babysit actors when they're on set, make sure the producers and directors have everything they need. I do everything and yet sometimes it feels very much like nothing. I keep telling myself that I'm learning. Since I started at the bottom, I know how to do a lot of jobs, and when I'm a director one day, I'll be able to put the right people in the right job. I'll understand every aspect of the production."
"That's a good way to look at it."
"I've always felt that practical experience is the best, which is why I dropped out of college after three years, which gave my parents a heart attack. But I just wanted to start working. I didn't want to keep reading about stuff—I wanted to take action. I probably would have been better off getting the degree."
"Or maybe not."
"Did you go to college?"
"I did. My parents insisted on it, but I spent more time partying than studying."
"Did you have a lot of girlfriends?"
"What's a lot?"
She laughed. "Forget it. You just answered my question. What about recently? Have you had a relationship in the last year?"
"Nope. I haven't done anything serious in a few years."
"But you have done serious?"
"As serious as I get, which wasn't as serious as she wanted it to be." He paused. "We broke up because we realized we didn't have the same goals."
"You didn't love her."
"I didn't say that."
"You didn't have to. When you're talking about goals, you're not talking about love or passion."
"There was plenty of passion."
"I'm sure, but that's not what I mean. Did you love her?" she questioned.
"No," he admitted. "Love is… I don't know. Why are we talking about love?"
"Because our food isn't here yet. What were you going to say?" she asked curiously. "Love is…"
"Too complicated for a simple man like me."
"Was that really what you were going to say?" she challenged.
"I'd answer but our food is here, and you said we were only talking about love because we didn't have anything to eat."
"Nice sidestep," she said dryly, but she had to admit the delicious omelet in front of her was even more distracting than Jax. "We'll get back to it later."
"There's really nothing to get back to. I don't do love." His gaze grew more serious. "Maybe you need to know that up front."
Now she was sorry she'd started this thread. "You don't have to worry. I'm not on the hunt for love."
"Are you sure? You seem very interested in the subject."
"Right now, I'm just interested in my eggs." She picked up her fork and dug in.
Chapter Fourteen
Jax enjoyed breakfast with Maya. After ending the increasingly uncomfortable discussion about love and relationships, they'd fallen into easy conversation. Maya had told him funny and often self-deprecating stories about her job as a production assistant. Reading between the lines, he could see that while she did the work and played the game, there was a rebel inside just dying to break loose, to