Fear of Fire and Shadow (The Fade #1) - Samantha Young Page 0,102

his arms, I went on to tell Wolfe about all I had discovered, what I thought of the people of Phaedra and the way we governed.

“What’s the use in the evocation if we don’t support it with good government? There are places in Phaedra—Alvernia, for one—where good people are lumped in with the bad, and nothing is done to help them.”

“You know my feelings on the subject. I agree that people are people, no matter their situation or location, have both light and dark within them. And there are certain people I intend to see punished for their crimes, such as Markiz Solom and those damn Iavii. But the bad people will stop being bad when the evocation strengthens again. When Haydyn is well.”

I growled in frustration. “Not in Alvernia. Haydyn’s evocation begins to wane, and people like L and her family are the ones who suffer, having to live side by side with uncivilized, foul people who need laws and consequences.” Butterflies flapped wildly in my stomach as I drew on my courage to voice my real concern. “What if the evocation is wrong, Wolfe? Do you really think it gives us peace and freedom? Or is it just the pretense of it?

“We’re so afraid of that shadows you spoke of, of the fire of people’s passions flaming out of control, that we’ve relied on a magic that will die out if Haydyn’s heir is not born with the evocation. Shouldn’t we stop relying on it? Learn to govern without it? Shouldn’t we trust in the light? That the fire within us can live without burning the world to the ground? We’re suppressing human nature, and I’m not sure that it is our right to do so.”

His chest rose and fell beneath my ear with deep exhalation. “Rogan … what you’re suggesting could have far-reaching consequences. I’m not saying that you aren’t right … but these questions can really only be posed to one person.”

“Haydyn.”

“Yes.” Wolfe kissed me lightly on the lips and slid out of bed.

Despite the turmoil raging inside me, I took great enjoyment watching him dress. I bit my lip. Intimacy between lovers was all Haydyn promised it would be. “Where are you going?”

Wolfe grinned as he buttoned his shirt and then he leaned over to kiss me. Deeply. I moaned at the taste and wrapped my arms around Wolfe, trying to pull him back down. If he left the room, I was afraid we’d never have this again. The thought panicked me.

Laughing against my mouth, Wolfe pulled away, his eyes telling me it was with great reluctance. “I have to leave before someone finds me here.”

I released him.

We couldn’t be caught together. That was something I’d have to think about if we did begin an affair. We’d have to be careful not to get caught.

I nodded, wrapping my arms around my drawn-up knees so I wouldn’t touch him again.

“You are so beautiful,” he told me hoarsely.

I smiled. “So are you.”

Within and without.

Wolfe threw me a boyish smile as he picked up his jacket and strode to the door. Just as he was about to depart, he turned to me.

“We’ll work it out all, Rogan,” he promised, his expression tender. “After Haydyn is well and good, we’ll get married, and then we can take all the time we need convincing Haydyn of what’s right.”

Wolfe was gone before I could respond. I groaned and flopped back on my pillow. Damn it. I’d have to tell him.

I was not looking forward to that.

Not one little bit.

Chapter 31

Ariana was quite possibly the sweetest person I had ever met, even more so than Haydyn, which was quite a feat.

In contrast to L, it was almost shocking to sit and converse with Ariana—one so gruff and straightforward, the other so gentle and affable. Despite the impact L and the Mosses had made on my life, I found it soothing to sit at a beautiful breakfast table, with refined people, and eat sumptuous food.

I almost snorted, thinking of all the times I’d argued with Wolfe for calling me Lady Rogan instead of Miss. He’d be happy to know in the end, he was right. I’d been raised a lady since I was a girl, and that had made more of a mark than I’d realized. It was time to accept who I was.

The Handmaiden of Phaedra.

We ate companionably, just Ariana and I, as Grof Krill had business to attend to. He still hadn’t returned by the time I was ready to leave.