The Fate of the Muse - By Derrolyn Anderson Page 0,8

offer I couldn’t refuse,” I replied. Unfortunately, it was the truth.

“We’re sorry about springing the restaurant on you guys,” Megan added, elbowing Cruz in the ribs, “He feels bad too.”

“Yeah,” Cruz said grudgingly, “But it’s really kind of Megan’s place now that she works there… I don’t see why Ethan should be all upset.”

“Just drop it,” I said wearily. I couldn’t take any more conflict.

Cruz couldn’t stop defending her, “I’m sure Evie didn’t mean anything by it,”

Megan started to mediate, “Surely, she must have known that it would be uncomfortable for them,” she said, tilting her head at Cruz.

“I don’t believe it for a minute,” he sniffed, “And stop calling me Shirley!”

I smiled tiredly and stood up to stretch, “I need to get some sleep, I’ll see you guys later.”

“Me too,” said Megan, rising to leave. “Oh, and Bill wanted me to tell you he wants some more paintings for the coffee shop.”

“OK,” I said, walking her to the door. “I’ll take care of it.”

I slumped down the hall to my room and changed, falling boneless and weak onto my bed. I looked around at all the paintings strewn about the tiny space, thinking about which ones I should take to Bill. They reminded me of the sea, and how wild and powerful I felt when I was immersed in it. Whatever happened to that side of me? I was feeling defeated, and realized that by giving into my fear I was letting Peter and his shadowy masters win.

Muse. Music. Museum. The words kept running through my mind along with their greater meaning. My natural tendency to be aloof was enhanced– I was more unwilling to be around people than ever before, watching everyone around me anxiously for signs that I was somehow affecting their behavior. Evie always said that information leaves a film, and now I knew what she meant by it. Knowing about my abilities became like a veil that colored everything I saw; I could never look at anybody the same way again, and it felt like a curse to me.

I thought about how Evie reveled in her power, actively seeking out worthy people to champion. She savored their success, and it satisfied her, for she had faith that it was the right thing to do. She was at peace with herself, and with the skills she wielded so deftly. Shamelessly using her formidable abilities to amass wealth, she’d married progressively richer men until she was insulated from the unpleasantness of the everyday world, and powerful enough to make dreams come true.

I could never be like Evie– who could? I struggled with the reasons for my existence, looking for some kind of sign as to what my greater purpose could be. Why was I so different from all the others? None of the other muses had the ability to transform into a mermaid, or even understand their language. I could talk to them and sea creatures as well; it had to mean something. Sometimes the situation seemed comically surreal, and I had to laugh at myself, realizing that seventeen was a weird age for an existential crisis.

Ethan’s constant presence was like a hand on my back, guiding me toward the routines of day to day life, and I’d be lost without him. He calmed me down, and kept me from my obsessive worrying. When we could be together every day and every night I knew that my life would start to make sense, and I’d eventually find all the answers I was looking for. Being around Ethan made everything seem so clear and simple that I knew we were meant to be together forever.

He was impatient, ready to get on with our married life, but we quickly discovered that it would be impossible without the consent of my guardian, who for now was my Aunt Abby. Despite the fact that she’d surprised us all by suddenly eloping with Ethan’s dad, I knew she’d be shocked at our plans. Abby and Dutch had obvious reasons to rush into things, for there was a baby on the way. No one could see or know why I needed to marry Ethan so soon.

Then there was my dad to consider. Abby would never give her permission without informing my father, and he’d be even more shocked than her about it. He’d say I was being impulsive, and that I was too young to know what I wanted. Dad hadn’t even met Ethan, and he would never understand what the big rush