The Fate of the Muse - By Derrolyn Anderson Page 0,14
them from my fat wad of cash. Now they were irritating me. I had to get into the water; I had to find a way to stop my dangerous thoughts.
I hurried home, my mind a tangled swirl of confusion. Shame, anger and fear combined in an ugly stew of negative emotions, and I rushed down to the beach, frantic to get myself back into the water. I needed to taste the salt, feel the purification of the icy sea, wallow in the uncomplicated innocence of the creatures that lived in it.
Avoiding a cluster of afternoon surfers on the far end of the beach, I plunged in and paddled swiftly out past the breaking waves. A familiar relief flooded over me with a new intensity, and a little voice in the back of my mind whispered, “This is where you belong.” I blocked out all other thoughts and called for Lorelei. She exploded out of the water, startling me.
“Marina!” she smiled joyfully, as exuberant as ever, “Where have you been?”
“I– I haven’t been surfing lately,” I replied.
“Why?” she asked, taking hold of my surfboard.
“I didn’t think you’d want to see me after what happened.”
She looked puzzled, “Why would you think that?”
I watched her swimming happily, wild and unchanged by our ordeal. Why couldn’t I be like that? I remembered how it felt to swim in peace under the vast open ocean. I should have known that she’d be fine. She would stay the same way forever, wild as an animal, carefree and untroubled for all eternity. The magnitude of what my mother had given up came rushing at me all at once.
“Can you take me surfing?” I asked her, my voice cracking with emotion.
She towed me to a remote and uninhabited stretch of coastline as the sun dipped low in the sky. I studied the waves and made the best of them, surfing perilously close to some jagged rocks. My instinctive feel for the water returned, tingling just under my skin like a limb that had been still for too long, coming back to life as blood rushed into it.
The sun sank lower on the horizon, deepening the sky to a dark indigo blue. I sat up on my board, watching the water trembling with golden reflections, tasting the salt when I licked my lips. I couldn’t imagine why I’d waited so long to come back out. My head was cleared of all the fear and doubt I’d been harboring for the past few weeks, and I felt better than I had in a long time.
“I know,” smiled Lorelei, splashing me with water.
I turned my focus back to the waves as the sky grew darker, “Let’s go to the point!” I heard Lorelei say. I looked around to see her glowing under the water. It dawned on me that I had just heard her thoughts, and I sat there stunned for a moment, grappling with what it meant.
Ethan wouldn’t like it, I thought with a start. Ethan! I’d made plans to see him after his last final. He’d be worried, and so would Abby.
Lorelei’s face broke the surface, “Do you have to go already?” she asked.
I nodded, my mind racing as Lorelei towed me back. Now that we could hear each other, I had to wonder, was it just another facet of my ability to communicate with them, or was I changing?
Transforming.
I thought about Ethan and cringed. I shouldn’t have come here… I should have gone to him when I was upset. As we got closer to the shore both Lorelei and I tensed up. We were partners in survival, and like all wild creatures, we now shared a heightened awareness of our surroundings, scanning the waters around us with bestial caution.
“This is close enough,” I told her without speaking.
“Will you come back soon?” she asked.
“Yes,” I replied audibly, looking at the distant beach and feeling my human concerns settle back onto my shoulders like a heavy cloak. “Lorelei, what happened to Nerissa? How is she?”
She smiled her resplendent smile, opening her eyes wide as a new thought occurred to her, “She is so lucky! Let’s go see her!”
I shook my head no, amused by her transparency, “I’d like that… but not right now.”
I said goodbye and made for the darkening beach, looking back to see nothing but water. As I found my footing I noticed a lone figure wandering along the beach. It was Stella, the elderly woman who fed the cats.