after the last time I saw you, I took Rex’s gun from his top drawer in his room and went to Fourteenth Street Bridge. I didn’t go there thinking I was going to kill myself. I wanted to decide when I got there when I had some peace and quiet to think.”
Mack’s body snaps straight and his eyes widen.
“I was in a lot of pain. Rex was distant. I’d lost you and hated myself for sleeping with Corey. My father was dead, and each day that went by that was peaceful and free of his taunts, was a good day for me. I was conflicted over my feelings and I had no-one to talk to.” I speak quickly so Mack doesn’t interrupt, and then slow as I continue, “And then, I’d brought a letter in from the mailbox and it was addressed to Rex, and on the back was my mother’s name. I opened it and she was reaching out to him, asking to see him, only him. Nowhere in the letter did she mention my name or ask how I was.” I shake my head. “What was left for me? I felt unwanted and discarded, by everyone who I’ve ever loved and thought loved me.” I lean over and show Mack a scar behind my ear.
He jumps up on his knees. “What the fuck, Lana! You tried to kill yourself?”
“Actually, no. I also took a bottle of Jack with me to the bridge and drank half of it, and ended up knocking myself out waving the gun around and screaming toward the sky. A lovely lady found me and took me to the hospital…” I pause, inhale, exhale, and continue in a whisper, “I couldn’t do it. I wasn’t able to kill myself. Nobody valued my life, but I came to realize that I did.”
Mack’s face pales. “I would’ve died with you that day had you done it.”
“I didn’t know that then. Everything has changed for me now, and I hate that I hurt you so badly.”
“I love you,” Mack says in a determined tone while moving forward and softly pushing my hair behind my ear.
“And I love you, but where do we go from here? We’re both still so angry. I don’t want this. I want what we had, I want our innocent and carefree love back.”
“We talk, like this, we work through it. I believe if we want it enough, we can forgive each other and move forward. Our relationship won’t be what we had before and it won’t be what it is now. But it will be new and exciting, and better than our first if we fight for it. For me, I don’t have a happy future without you, Lana. The possibilities far outweigh the risks. And I’m not one to shy away from a fight, not one I know will be worth the blood and bruises.”
“I can forgive you,” I whisper. “I doubt I ever had a chance at trying to fight it. You own my heart, Mackson King. You always have.”
Mack grasps my face with his hands and kisses me. It obliterates every thought in my mind. The past and its pain evaporate. The soft caress of Mack’s lips becomes firm. My fingers dig into his arms.
Never will I let him go again.
Mack slows and whispers, “Is this real?”
I exhale, it’s small, but it feels as if a huge gust of wind should have come from my chest. “Yes, it has to be because I can finally breathe again.”
Chapter Nine
Two months later.
Lana
Every inch of Mack’s fit, sweaty body is draped over mine. He slams into me. I moan as my back arches and my body squeezes and pulses around him. It doesn’t matter that Mack’s taken me every day for the past two months, the burn and sensation of Mackson King stretching me continues to feel as if every time is the first, the best.
The past couple of months I’ve felt like a well, a dried up abyss that’s being replenished with rain and each drop is better than the last.
“Shit,” Mack breathlessly whispers into my ear.
He cups my ass with both hands and lifts my bottom off the bed. I moan as he drives deeper, thrusting in and out at a deliciously punishing pace. He’s aggressive and dominant yet the soft, lengthy kisses he places along my jaw and neck speak of devotion as if he’s worshipping me.
“Fuck. I missed this. Your tight, hot pussy,” Mack growls out.