Fast Lane - Kristen Ashley Page 0,76
was where they were always in harmony, quite literally.
Tim ripping that away from Preacher, not only at that time, which was far from optimal, but at any time, it’s just…
[Pause]
The way Preacher saw it.
It was just simply unforgiveable.
In Tim’s defense, he not only didn’t know what was going on with Preacher, he didn’t know his story.
Even with that said, Tim had known Preacher by that time for nearly a decade.
He had spent a lot of time with him.
He had made music with him.
So, he might not know the story, but he knew there was one.
And it wasn’t a good one.
More than that, Preacher was about being up front about everything.
If you had something to say, say it.
Right to his face.
I know this sounds contradictory seeing as it was clear to everyone that Preacher was not being up front about something. He was keeping something buried.
But that was the first time he’d ever been that way.
And that was…
[Pause, then a sad sigh]
What it was.
My mother and father fought viciously before Mom took us away.
Or I should say, my father got viciously angry.
Because of that, bearing witness to it at a very early age, I avoided conflict.
And I never raised my voice.
I can still hear my father shouting at my mother. The words were ugly and damaging, but as a child, it was the timbre of his voice that truly frightened me.
It is highly likely this was conditioned in me due to the noises I’d hear after. Noises of him hurting her physically.
But regardless, because of that, no matter how angry I was, I didn’t lash out with a raised voice. There was rarely any drama to my anger.
Which might have been a problem.
My conflict avoidance sometimes took the form of me making certain I was clear in communications and tackling things head on as they were happening.
[Smiles self-deprecatingly]
This was when I was being mature.
Sometimes this took the form of me burying it with the intent simply to keep it buried. Taking the tack, it happened, it’s done, move on, and never go back there again.
I understood that there might be consequences to the latter strategy, and that was on me, and why I preferred to use the former one.
And Preacher by then was accustomed to that.
He was accustomed to that from me.
He was also used to it from the guys.
They’d been together a long time. They’d learned to communicate with each other.
He had no earthly clue how to handle someone delivering a message like Tim did with that song.
And most importantly at the time, Tim crossed two lines that you did not ever cross with Preacher.
He did what he did publicly.
And he did it making a commentary about me.
I did not look up from my book when Preacher came back into the suite after talking to Tommy in the hall.
In the hall.
What the fuck was up with that?
I had learned not to ask.
I could do that again and again (and had), find a variety of different ways to do it, even attempting to sneak it in and catch him off guard, which made me feel like shit and made Preacher irritable.
But it didn’t matter.
He wouldn’t tell me.
“Babe, I gotta hit the road for this thing.”
Babe.
He was calling me that a lot now.
I still got “baby” and “cher” and Lyla on occasion.
But most of the time it was “babe,” and he called the girl who restrung his guitars “babe.”
I heard the sound of pills bouncing around in a bottle and I looked his way to see him tapping a few out while asking, “You wanna come?”
Did I want to come?
Come with him and watch him and the guys do a radio slot?
I never did that.
Not after the time I did it in Miami, the DJ mentioned I was there while they were live, tried to coax me to come on mic, also while they were live, and Preacher walked out, taking me with him, and the guys had to cover for him.
Tommy had, of course, seen to things prior to us going.
As Tom saw to fucking everything.
Including, undoubtedly, whatever was happening in the hall.
But Tommy had told the station that I would be there, I was just there to hang with the band and see my guy in action, I would be happy to meet the staff and take a few pictures, if that was what they’d like, but I was under no circumstances going on air.
The DJ was trying to get an exclusive by putting us on the spot.
He learned that