Fast Lane - Kristen Ashley Page 0,74

descending completely down that rabbit hole.

And still, I would not live that next two weeks again for anything.

Especially since Tom knows, along the way, you only make enemies with people you’re down with makin’ enemies.

The rest, you pitch up and deal.

What I’m saying is, Tommy didn’t cancel shit.

If it was scheduled, we did it.

Shows. Interviews. Photo ops. Radio slots. TV appearances.

And that was really not fun.

But he knows, these people gotta remember the Roadmasters as the dudes who you could rely on. As the dudes who saw to their business and didn’t disappoint.

Because you need everyone you can get to make it big.

You need everyone you can get to stay there.

And you need everyone to remember you in a good way when it’s time to coast.

But somehow with all this happening, and I know how, the shows don’t suffer.

And this is because the only fix we can get is our own adrenaline.

But also, Preacher’s got something to say to Lyla.

And he needs it bad that she hears it.

During our live shows, we do covers, always at least one cover.

And suddenly we’re doin’ shit like “Feel Like Makin’ Love,” “Wild Horses,” and “Me and Bobby McGee.”

[Smiles reminiscently]

I don’t think she heard.

But we kicked the shit outta those songs.

And just to say, seein’ as we’re makin’ the record straight here with what we’re doin’, not like this isn’t known, but I don’t hear it either.

None of us did.

And what Preacher was doin’, he was screaming it in our faces.

Doing this by singing.

One night, we do “Lovesong” by The Cure.

Now, The Cure, this band…

This band is a damned fine band.

No one like them.

No one can be like them, that’s the genius of Robert Smith and The Cure.

I contend that to this day.

Robert Smith wrote songs like you’d never heard before, and you’ve never heard since.

Poppy-sounding, happy songs that make you bounce on your feet with lyrics that will shred your heart.

And the bass in those songs…

[Smiles ruefully]

Dave, Tim, they like The Cure.

Shawn, he gets The Cure, though he’s not what you’d call a fan.

That bass, obviously, I love them.

Preach…

Now if there’s a band Preach is a disciple of, it’s The Cure.

And I think it’s not hard for anyone to get why.

So, just sayin’, we know how to play Cure songs.

But doin’ one on the road?

[Shakes head]

Then Preach puts “Lovesong” on the setlist.

You know, after it all went down, for the rest of my life, I always tried to be sure I never got so deep up my own ass, I didn’t see. I didn’t hear. I didn’t listen.

Especially to the people I love.

We sang that song, and I was sure our audience, our fans were going to think nothin’ but “What the fuck?”

They didn’t.

A human swell.

You look out from the stage, that was what it was. Rolling this way and that, hanging on the sound of Preacher’s voice, drifting to the wave of music, the melancholy beauty of that song.

Preach sang those words and everyone knows they’re for Lyla, even though no one but Preacher knows how bad Lyla needs to hear them.

“Maybe I’m Amazed” is an insanely beautiful song.

When we played “Lovesong…”

For our fans, for us, for the lore of the Roadmasters, that became…

[Stops speaking and doesn’t resume for some time]

After it all went down that became…

It.

After that shit hit with Dave and Leeanne, a rift has definitely formed in the band.

Preacher.

And the rest of us.

And this is the only time I thought this, but we need him to be about us, not Lyla.

We’re on tour and nothing’s ever gonna shake them so they need to put on hold whatever is goin’ on and he needs to see to his brothers.

At least, that was what I thought at the time.

And I was right.

I was also wrong.

Dave not wakin’ up, Penny the way she was being something I always had on my mind, goin’ through what I was goin’ through ditchin’ the shit, knowin’ Dave and Tim got it worse, Shawn is no nursemaid, but he’s suddenly not all about boning when he’s not hanging with the band.

He’s about keeping us hydrated and finding shit for us to do to keep our minds off it.

And shit is like that for the band and Preacher’s not involved in that?

Preacher doesn’t have our backs?

Preacher is not losing his own crutches?

We all start to get pissed.

He’s on for a show. He’s on in a radio booth.

But he and Lyla miss band breakfasts, hit the plane fuzzy and distracted and pass out almost immediately. They disappear from