“Very explosive,” Sadie confirmed. “It could wipe Hell off the map of the Universe.”
“Oh dear,” Mother Nature said. “Should we take her to Purgatory? I don’t think anyone would miss Purgatory if it disappeared. It’s so beige and boring.”
“Elevator music will not be the first sound my son hears after he is evicted—or exploded from his mother’s womb,” I snapped. “What are the options, Sadie?”
Sadie glanced over at my mother. “Can you perform a barrier spell around the office suite, Gaia?”
“Haven’t done one in a few centuries, but yes,” my mother answered, nodding thoughtfully. “Can you?”
Sadie smiled. “How do you think Elle and I stayed hidden for millions of years? I do believe if we combine our magic, Hell will survive.”
“Do it,” I commanded, moving to Elle and putting my arms around her. “Will this spell protect Elle and the baby?”
“Oh, Elle and the baby will be fine,” Sadie assured me. “It’s Hell that I’m worried about.”
“Can I be with her?” I asked, knowing I had no plans to take no as an answer.
“If we can find a midwife that can withstand and survive vicious explosions, then yes,” Sadie said, looking doubtful.
I sighed and let my chin fall to my chest. How in the fuck had it come to this?
“I have just the person,” I said, trying not to wince.
“You do?” Elle asked, surprised.
“Fortunately, and unfortunately, yes,” I replied, kissing the top of her head.
“Go get the midwife,” Mother Nature instructed, sounding all business as she clapped her hands and created a lovely lavender bed for Elle to give birth on. “Once we cast the spell, no one is allowed in and no one is allowed out.”
“On it,” I said, sprinting toward the door in search of Mammy.
“Will I be able to attend the party after the birth?” Elle asked her mother.
“Absolutely, sweetheart. After the explosion you’ll be as good as new within the hour.”
“I just hope Hell will fare the same,” Mother Nature said under her breath as she continued to conjure up all the necessary items for a birth. “Lucifer, haul ass. It will take a full day to cast the spell. No time to lose.”
“Yes, mother… and thank you,” I said, glancing down at my hands to see if hives had popped out. None. So far so good.
“You’re welcome,” my mother said with a smile.
“You’re not going to give me shit for saying thank you?” I questioned warily.
“I am not,” she replied, still smiling. “Even though you don’t speak the words often, I know you mean them all the time.”
“Actually, I don’t,” I told her, being truthful for the first time in a while.
The bolt of lightning came so fast, I didn’t even see my mother wiggle her nose. Damn, she was good.
“That fucking stung,” I snapped as I waved my hand and put out the fire that had just destroyed my pants. The truth was utter bullshit. I would avoid it in the future at all costs. My suit was custom and now had a big hole in the ass.
“I’m just getting started,” my mother said with a giggle and an arched brow. “If you want Hell to survive, move it. NOW.”
“Elle, I’ll be back shortly. Don’t worry about a thing. I have it covered,” I promised as I waved my hand and disappeared in a gust of black mist.
I would find Mammy. Her price would be high. Of that I was certain.
However, there was no price too high for the safety of my lover and my son. I would happily die for either of them. Not to mention, if Hell disappeared, it would be difficult to blackmail Steve Perry into being my BFF at the party.
Not. Going. To. Happen.
My life as I knew it was about to change for the rest of eternity… and I couldn’t wait.
Chapter Thirteen
Two days trapped in a suite with Mammy and my mother was the worst kind of Hell I’d ever lived through. My mother pole danced for eight hours straight. None of us would be the same after experiencing the horrifying display. I was scarred for life when one of her moves revealed her see-through crystal G-string. Even bleaching my eyes wouldn’t be sufficient after seeing my mother’s bits. No son should ever have to go through that.
Elle was incredibly grumpy as the birth grew near. I’d stabbed myself for her amusement so many times, even my mother was concerned. Sadie was the only voice of reason in the crew of insanity. After a private talk with her