“Mr. Pierce, isn’t it?” he says, before I can spiral anymore.
“Ah, yep. You can just call me Marty. Hi, Dr. Baverstock.” I pop the cork out of my oboe and reach for my case. “Sorry, I know I’m not supposed to be here.”
“No, it’s quite all right. A bit slow today, wouldn’t you say? Sorry to interrupt, but I was taking the short distance between the orchestra space and my office when I heard a most unusual sound.”
I don’t respond, but he smiles. “You see, I don’t have any oboes in my orchestra. It is my principal instrument, so I’m naturally very picky when it comes to the instrument. And we had one promising young lad audition with this piece just last year. Came all the way from America to do it.”
My cheeks must be glowing red. I wish I could just melt into the padded walls. But he gives me a genuine smile, and his support is what’s keeping me together right now. Just barely.
“Marty, I don’t know what exactly was going on last year, but I do know that if you had played that piece how you just did, I would have happily accepted you into the program.”
Embarrassment creeps over me. I’m overwhelmed with the feeling of failure that followed me all the way back to the States. I wallowed in that feeling for so long, until Shane helped pull me out. Until I made a new plan.
“Thanks,” I say. “But … I didn’t. So.”
“So you figured something else out?”
I pause, and let my gaze drift. “Yeah, I think so.”
“Good.” He gestures toward me. “What you have here is special, the hold you have over music and how it connects perfectly with your emotions. I can teach technique all day, but I can’t teach people that.”
I nod. “That means a lot, coming from you.”
“And for technique,” he says as he flips my sheet music back a page, “get this run under your fingers with a metronome first. When you drop and build after the sforzando, you start to lose it by the end. It’s almost there.”
I grab a pencil out of my bag and make some light notes on my music.
“Thanks,” I say. “Are you sure it’s okay I’m in here?”
“I hear you’ve been recruited for Mr. Reid’s end-of-term recital,” he says. “Since you’re helping Knightsbridge, for what I assume is no pay, the least I can do is give you access to the practice rooms whenever you want.”
He winks and then steps out of the room. The heavy door closes with a hiss. And I’m alone. I can’t help but flash back to the audition I ruined. How everything fell apart. How I fell apart.
The pieces of my oboe are spread around me. And I know the only thing that’ll put me back together is to start the ritual all over again.
FOURTEEN
There are moments, like this, when the landscape flies by my window and it feels a little like home. Straight roads, livestock farms, and not much else.
But then I remember we’re driving on the left side of the road. And I’m on the right side of the car, but the driver is in the seat in front of me. And all of the farms have sheep. Miles and miles of sheep. And every few minutes, we course through a roundabout, which is like an intersection that never stops moving in a circle, and by some magic you learn which lane you’re supposed to be in when you exit.
“I can’t believe how calm Baverstock was today in recitals,” Ajay says.
Each Friday, all of the school comes together for an hour of short recitals, where a few people perform one piece each. They’re technically open to the public, so Shane and I were able to sneak in and watch.
Rio and Sophie both performed solos—possibly to prove a point—and it was clear to see why the conductor, Dr. Baverstock, can’t decide on a first chair. They’re both extremely talented in different, but equally captivating, ways.
“What did he say—he’s ‘never been so impressed by a crop of summer musicians.’ ” Pierce dons a posh accent while quoting him.
Dani shakes her head. “I’m tired of talking about those recitals. Sorry, Soph—you were epic. But I don’t want to talk about school anymore.”
“No offense taken,” she replies. “I’m just glad I got through it.”
“What I want to talk about,” Dani continues, “is how you and Marty just happened to run into Sang, and then he gets to go and