knowing that I’m going to have cameras following me around in a couple of weeks. I guess I’ve been too occupied making sure I have my game face on, is all.” I didn’t realize what all I had said until after the words came tumbling out of my mouth. This was why I should’ve just stuck with “I’m sorry” and been done with it.
“Game face? What does that mean?”
“You know…how the media sees me. How everyone sees me.”
His brows furrowed, like he was examining me for something. “Are all the reports about you wrong? The ones that talk about how poorly you’ve treated waitstaff at restaurants, how dismissive you are to people on the streets? Are you saying that’s all an act?”
What in Sam hades was I supposed to say to that?
“I wouldn’t call it an act, per se. It’s more of a…difference in character. The public gets a completely different side of me than you’ve seen this past week.” If I didn’t shut up, I’d get my foot stuck so far down my throat, and there wouldn’t be a legal way out of it. “I don’t know how else to explain it. All I can say is, I’m having a difficult time maintaining two completely different personas.”
He bobbed his head slowly in a hesitant nod. “Okay, I guess that somewhat makes sense. I’m not famous, so I can’t exactly argue with your reasoning. But I would like to say that I very much enjoy the nice, fun, carefree version of you who seems genuinely interested in what people around you have to say. So the next time that persona comes to the surface, I’d love it if she stopped by for a beer and a little one-on-one PlayStation action.”
“I think that persona would enjoy that very much.”
Acting like Tiff wasn’t the worst part. Becoming Tiff was what would eventually break me.
While our goodbyes were somber, my walk home was worse. I felt awful, and not just in a “I feel bad about what I did” kind of way. No, I literally felt like someone had repeatedly punched me in the gut. Jacoby was a nice guy; he didn’t deserve the three-ringed circus that I’d gotten myself caught up in. If Tiff wanted to mistreat him, that was on her. I didn’t see why I had to do the same. It wasn’t like I had to worry about Jacoby blowing my cover—there were plenty of people who could vouch for Tiffany’s deplorable attitude.
Either way, I felt defeated.
“Has pretending to be Queen Bee gotten you this down in only two weeks? How in the world are you going to keep this up for two more months?” Dave paused the game he was in the middle of playing when I plopped down on the couch like a sack of potatoes.
“I don’t think I’ll have too much of an issue being Tiff toward people I don’t know, or those who are just like her. But having to be cold and rude to someone I actually like is torture.”
“Hold the phone…are you saying you like this guy? Like, like like?”
I rolled my eyes and then stared at the ceiling for a very long moment, trying to figure out how to explain this to Dave without making the situation worse—which was his forte. “I think he’s a nice person who doesn’t deserve this attitude, fake or not.”
“That might be all well and true, Tosh, but what are your options? It’s not like you can tell him the truth—you’re legally gagged. And if you’re nice to him now, what’s going to happen when the real Tiffany Lewis comes back? I can assure you that things will be even worse for him if that happens.”
“I know, I know.” I buried my head in a pillow and let out a frustrated scream. When I was done, I was saddened to realize that it didn’t make me feel any better. “You didn’t see his face, Dave. You didn’t see how bothered he was by being treated like crap all day. I hate that.”
“You like him, don’t you?” He held up one finger—rather close to my face—to keep me from speaking so he could add, “And don’t even think about lying to me. I can read you like a book.”
“No, I don’t.” If that was a lie, then I was also lying to myself. “I’ve only hung out with the guy a couple of times. Do I think he’s the sexiest man I’ve ever seen? Absolutely. Do I think he’s