make up for those years, Ross?” She shook her head in answer to her own question.
He couldn’t blame her, but he wished he understood more fully. “You’ve been single a long time now, Kelsey. You’re a kind, loving person, and it doesn’t suit you to carry the anger so long.” From her expression, he’d struck a nerve.
“Maybe I’m angry at myself for not wanting to face the affair. I always explained it away.”
Emotions caught Ross off guard. The tender feeling filled him. “How long did it go on before you found out?”
“A year or more.”
He shook his head, startled at how long she’d been deceived, but it showed how trusting Kelsey had been. That’s what a marriage should be.
“Doug traveled for his job, and now that I look back, I have no idea when he was really on a business trip or somewhere with Karen. Sometimes when he was going out of town, I’d try to make plans with her. You know, a girls’ night out. Once in a while, we’d go to a movie or out to dinner, but more and more she had excuses. She had an out-of-town wedding or a sick aunt or something. It was easy to think coincidence.”
“I suppose you can be grateful they went out of town. No gossip that way.”
Her face twisted with emotion. “He wasn’t that bright. Once in a while someone would mention seeing him with Karen. When I asked, he’d make a joke about how good it was that I was trusting.” She dragged in a breath. “I tossed it off, and then I’d ask. He’d make up some excuse. They happened to be in the same restaurant and decided to sit together.”
“It happens.” No matter what he said, it sounded trivial. “A husband and wife should be trusting. If they’re not, the marriage isn’t healthy. Yours was.”
“One-sided.” He watched a kaleidoscope of emotion sweep over her eyes.
“Ross, I know you’re right. Why can’t I let it go? I could have at least walked inside and showed some compassion. The Bible says to love our enemies. I’ve failed.”
“But you’re sorry for it, and God forgives you.”
She lifted her gaze to his. “Then why can’t I forgive?”
Forgiveness always seemed like such an ordeal. He’d blamed God for Ruthie’s death and Peyton’s struggle with the same disease, and yet he’d faced the reality that God allowed things to happen for reasons that he would never know. He trusted the Lord, and that’s what she needed to do. “You’ll never forget what they did, Kelsey.” He slipped his arm around her back. “But you can forgive.”
She scanned the surroundings in silence until she finally turned to face him. “I’ll work on it, Ross. That’s all I can promise.”
He drew her closer to his side. “That’s all I want to hear.” He glanced at his watch, surprised at the time. “We’d better head for lunch, or Lucy will call and we won’t have eaten.” He rose and took her hand. But from her expression, lunch was the last thing on her mind.
Kelsey stood back from the door as Lucy came out carrying a large grocery bag. Trying to be subtle, she glanced inside only to catch a glimpse of something in a shade of pastel turquoise. Gifts. Her stomach knotted. She slipped her arm around Lucy’s shoulders, feeling protective, but her ire had subsided when she looked at Karen’s haggard face. It looked different than it had when she’d dropped Lucy there earlier. “I’ll pray for you, Karen.”
Karen’s head bolted upward, anxiety written on her face. “Thanks, but…” As her words dragged to a halt, gratefulness filled her face. “It’s nice to hear you say that.”
She’d surprised herself, but she would pray. Death and divorce were similar but different. Which was worse? No answer came, but the finality of death was a permanent emptiness.
Karen leaned down and hugged Lucy. “Your visit meant a lot to us, sweetie. I know your dad is grateful that your mom brought you for a visit.” She lifted her head and faced Kelsey. “Hospice has been a great help. At least, he can be home.”
Hospice. The word dug into her heart. “You think it will be…” She couldn’t say anything in front of Lucy. She gazed at Karen, wondering if she and Doug had told her the truth.
“Yes. He’s opted out of chemo or radiation. Quality of life is more important now.”
Karen’s bravery wriggled into Kelsey’s chest and filled the gash. “Quality of life is best.”
She nodded.
They faced each