but you would have more free time to do what you want. To do what we want.”
“What sorts of things?” Alicia was tempted, Ari could tell by the sound of her voice.
“Well, for example, to visit first-class resorts in the mountains and look at what kinds of houses are available.”
Alicia didn’t respond.
“And we could take some cruises,” Phillip said.
“But why would you want to do that?” Alicia asked. She folded her arms over her chest and stared out the passenger window. “And when would you have time? You are always working.”
They were on Route 9 now, always a congested highway, with a few cars ahead of them when the light turned red. When Ari was driving this route by herself, she either blasted music or used the time to make quick calls on her cellphone. It was as if the engineers had designed this particular part of the road to be especially frustrating so that drivers were caught in a cage of other cars, all with their motors rumbling. It provided the perfect environment for arguing.
Phillip suddenly turned to glare at his wife. “Why am I always working? It’s not enough to pay a mortgage on a house that we really can’t afford and also pay for our daughter’s college tuition and also and most insanely to pay for all of the galas you say we have to go to in order to help charities and especially to pay for the gowns you only wear once to attend the damned galas. Do you remember when I got out of med school and started at Mass General and was working all hours of the day and night, how we promised ourselves that when we got older, we would have time to spend with each other?”
“I remember,” Alicia answered softly but did not turn her head to look at her husband.
“So we had a wonderful life and a beautiful daughter and summer vacations on Nantucket, but it wasn’t enough for you. You wanted a bigger house and a flashy car and bigger diamonds and membership at country clubs. You wanted Ari to be sent to the best summer camp where she would meet the best people even though she could have spent all summer on Nantucket. I worked harder, you spent more time with your wealthy friends, and less time with me. The past year, you’ve spent more time finding out who the best caterers and florists are for Ari’s wedding and reception dinner than you ever spent with me. I could probably make a time chart to prove it.”
“I wanted our daughter’s wedding to be magical,” Alicia whispered.
“So we had to organize a sit-down meal for two hundred people up at the lodge on the lake,” Phillip said.
“And Ari has gone and spoiled it all,” Alicia cried. “Even though we’ve canceled everything, we still have to pay the twenty percent deposit. It’s in the contract.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve paid it,” Phillip said in resignation.
Sitting in the backseat, as if she were still a child, Ari burned with indecision. I’m still here, she wanted to say, but she knew her parents weren’t thinking about her now. They were caught up in an argument they probably should have had years ago.
The stoplight turned green. The lines of cars began to inch forward. From behind them, an impatient driver leaned on his horn. Phillip gunned the car and shot through the yellow light just before it turned red.
Alicia still had her head turned away from her husband and she didn’t speak. But Phillip, as if invigorated by his traffic triumph, declared, “Alicia, I have tried to give you everything you want.”
Now Ari’s mother did turn to stare at her husband. Her expression was both angry and sad. “Well, it seems I haven’t been giving you everything you want.”
From her witness box in the backseat, Ari saw her father’s face flush.
Phillip cleared his throat. “Yes, that’s true, but you would be surprised at how little I want. I suppose I was looking for someone’s admiration. For someone who wanted my company, just my company. Who laughed at my jokes, who listened with interest to the way I had saved someone’s life that day, as if that was a significant thing to do. I’m getting older, Alicia, and it takes more of my concentration and strength to manipulate tools, instruments that I never would have dreamed of which have been invented while I’ve been in practice. I have had to take courses! Now I watch