As she gently sticks heart-shaped stickers onto Iris’s tiny chest, I half-way listen, focused on the wiggling infant beneath her.
“Not only that, they must scan and match perfectly. So, you see, we’re making things safe for baby Ryan.”
The room fills with uneasy silence. I step forward to touch Iris again but redirect to my chin as I scratch my thickening beard. “Bale.”
“Excuse me?” She lifts an eyebrow in confusion.
“I said, Bale.”
“Yes, Mr. Bale. I told you we know who you are.”
“You said Ryan. It’s Bale. Her name is Iris Bale.”
The puzzled look on her face expands. “Fine, Mr. Bale. We’re just going by what is written on the chart.”
“You wrote it wrong.”
“Julian, let them examine the baby and shut up.” Ryker sighs, pulling me to the side. The nurses continue their poking and prodding. He stands shoulder to shoulder with me, his face every bit as critical as mine. “You’re being an asshole,” he whispers. “This isn’t about your misguided male ego.”
“Let it go, Ry.” Voicing my fears to my brother makes them real, and I don’t want my happiness and that man’s darkness meshing in this room.
“The more you fight with everyone, the longer it’ll take for them to be done. I don’t know about you, but I sure as hell don’t want to be within fifty feet of your woman when she finds out the reason she hasn’t been wheeled in here is because her husband’s a paranoid psycho.”
I fold my arms across my chest and continue to watch with silent scrutiny. How do I tell my brother that Phoebe’s father fills my head with shit that keeps me up at night?
Father.
In a matter of minutes, my life has changed more drastically than when Helena and Surge Records plucked us from obscurity and molded us into celebrities. I witnessed the birth of my heart, then watched as white coats hooked it up to wires and a ventilator.
“Is it always going to be like this?”
“Like what?” Ryker asks in a low voice.
I tilt my chin toward the NICU beds that houses fifteen tiny infants. “Constant worry about both of them. I haven’t cared about anything for so long that putting others first is exhausting.”
Life before Phoebe was simple. Music. Booze. Women. She changed me, and now I feel like a foreigner in my own skin with no way to navigate the road ahead.
“No idea, bro. Hell, I dropped out of college. I’m banking on a life of tour buses and backstage orgies. I have no idea what it feels like to be you.” He shifts his weight. “But I can tell you I had the perfect vantage point when Iris was born.”
“Ryker, I’d hate to kick your ass in front of medical personnel.”
“No, dumbass, I’m not talking about that vantage point. Although, trust me”—he holds his palms up for effect—“there’s not enough tequila in the world to block out some of the images in my head.” I savor the embarrassment flushing his face, and he clears his throat. “I meant that I saw you.”
“Yes, I saw you too. We all saw each other.”
He shakes his head in frustration and steps around me. “No, she was born, and something changed on your face. I can’t explain it. It’s like I saw you become a dad. I’ve never seen that expression from you.”
I stare at the floor before uncrossing my arms and scrubbing my face with both hands. God, lack of sleep has drained the life from me. My body is screaming for rest, but that’s a luxury not in my foreseeable future. I have a family to protect from a homicidal madman.
“I don’t think I’ve properly thanked you.”
“For what?”
I motion to the NICU beds. “Taking care of my family like they were your own.”
“Julian, they are my family. That little girl is my niece.” We stand quietly, trying to find the right words to say. Finally, he shoves his hands in his pockets and grins. “But I’ll tell you one thing I learned from all this.”
“What’s that?”
“I’m adopting.”
Laughter doubles me over. Staring at my brother with a new appreciation, I extend my hand in front of me, my fingers almost touching his chest.
He arches an eyebrow. “What are you doing?”
“I’m trying to thank you. If I didn’t know you were with her, and… Damn it, Ry. Just shake my hand.”
Ryker makes no attempt to move. Just before I sigh and draw my hand back, he steps forward and hooks both arms around