False Start - Jessica Ruddick Page 0,65

and firm. Perfect. Was anything about this girl not perfect?

“Wait.” She pulled away. “We should talk about something.”

That. That’s not perfect. Why did she want to talk when all I wanted to do was worship her body? If she said anything else about that goddamn bag, I was going to lose my ever-loving shit.

Closing my eyes and leaning my forehead against hers, I tried to summon up self-control. “What is it?”

“I want to be with you, Carson, in every way, but… I don’t know how to say this. Um…” She swallowed thickly, and alarm bells went off in my head. Shit. My damn dick was leading the charge, and she wasn’t ready. I’m such an asshole.

“There’s no rush.” I tried to keep my tone light. I didn’t want her to think this was a deal-breaker for me. She knew my history, that I tended to sleep with girls quickly, but that was in the past. Everything was different with her. I would be celibate if it meant I got to love her. Please, God, don’t make me be celibate.

“No, you don’t understand. I feel like I’ve already waited for you for forever, so it’s not that we’re rushing. It’s that, well… I’m a virgin.”

I didn’t know what I’d expected her to say, but it wasn’t that. I looked down at her, but she’d tucked her face against my chest, like she was hiding. “Becca?”

She didn’t move. “What?”

“Can you look at me?”

After a few deep breaths, she lifted her head and met my gaze.

“I didn’t know,” I said. “We can wait.” God, I’d had no fucking idea. But then again, it made sense. She’d never had a serious boyfriend, and she wasn’t the type to have casual sex. It should have been obvious to me that she was inexperienced, but fuck, she was just so sensual, it had never occurred to me that she was new to this.

She swallowed. “I don’t want to wait. I feel like I’ve been waiting for you my whole life.”

My heart swelled, and so many emotions flooded me, I couldn’t discern them. What had I ever done to deserve this girl? This woman? Nothing. Because I didn’t deserve her. But that didn’t mean I was willing to give her up either.

I might not be worthy of her, but I sure as hell would make her feel loved.

***

Becca

I WAS AFRAID to look at Carson, afraid of what I would see in his eyes. I didn’t want him to treat me like a delicate flower just because I didn’t have sexual experience.

But when I mustered the courage to meet his gaze, I found the same need in his eyes as before.

“I always wanted you to be my first,” I said softly. I already felt so vulnerable and exposed admitting I was still a virgin, but I felt like I might as well put it all out there. Yet part of me was afraid. I’d wanted this, wanted him, for so long that I was petrified I would screw it up.

“I don’t know what to say,” he said. “I didn’t know any of this.”

“You weren’t supposed to,” I replied. “I wouldn’t have told you now except I’d be so embarrassed if things got weird, and—”

“It could never be weird with you, Becca.” He kissed me. “But we can stop whenever you want.”

“I already told you—I’ve been waiting for years. I’m not going to want to stop.” I tried for a wry smile, but I was so damn nervous, it probably came across as a grimace.

He took my lead and smirked. “I just hope I’m worth the wait.”

I ran my hands over his shoulders and his chest, my fingers tracing the grooves of his muscles. Oh yeah. Even if I weren’t already in love with him, it was worth the wait to have my first time be with someone who could be a body double for Thor. But mainly it was worth it because I was in love with him, and I’d never wanted anyone but him. That didn’t mean I wasn’t going to give him hell, though. Old habits died hard.

I looked him up and down with what I hoped was a scrutinizing expression. “I hope so too.”

He grinned, and any awkwardness that had been in the air over my big announcement dissipated. “Oh, it’s on.”

He slipped his arm behind my knees and stretched me out on the bed. Joining me, he propped himself up on his elbows and hovered over me. His hand palmed my ribcage, covering nearly