False Start - Jessica Ruddick Page 0,60

her was suppressed so quickly by my subconscious that I’d never recognized it. But I had loved Becca for as long as I could remember. It had taken her getting attacked and me seeing her walk out my door with another guy for me to realize I was in love with her.

Even though moments ago, I’d thought about what would have happened if I’d been aware of her feelings earlier, I was now suddenly glad I hadn’t known. I still didn’t trust myself not to fuck this up, but I knew my younger self definitely would have made a mess of things.

“I don’t deserve you,” I said.

“Stop.” Her expression was pained. “I hate when you devalue yourself like that.”

“It’s true, though.” I’d never pretended to be anything I wasn’t, and I wasn’t about to start now.

Sighing, Becca laid her head down on my chest again. “I think you have an overinflated opinion of me.”

I laughed. “You are probably the only girl alive who would try to talk a guy into thinking less of her.”

“Maybe you’ve been hanging out with the wrong girls.”

I kissed the top of her head. “Obviously.” Because no girl had ever felt so right in my arms. I never thought I would be content simply holding someone like this. Don’t get me wrong—I definitely wanted to do more than just hold Becca. But for now, this was perfect.

Just like her.

***

Becca

I WOKE WITH a smile on my face and snuggled closer to Carson. Is this really my life? I’d never been more tempted to pinch myself. Any minute now, I expected him to realize he’d made a mistake, that—

Nope… Don’t go there. I didn’t know what the future held for us, but I wouldn’t let my fear rob me of this moment.

Staring at Carson’s sleeping face, I forced myself not to touch him. God, he’s handsome. When awake, he had a roguish look about him—mischievous with just a hint of danger. Sleeping, though, he looked peaceful and somehow softer. Not that soft, though.

My gaze traveled lower to his chest, which was only partially covered by the sheet. Nothing about his body was soft. He was all muscles and cut lines. My eyes landed on his tattoo. He’d gotten it the day he turned eighteen, and I was pretty sure he’d only done it to piss off his parents. Mission accomplished. It was a tribal design that was shaped into a wave, but a closer look revealed the wave actually had arrows running through it. When he’d first gotten it, I asked him what it meant, but he’d simply laughed and said it looked cool. That was Carson in a nutshell, but I believed the tattoo symbolized something, even if he didn’t realize it.

He twitched, and I watched him for a moment, hopeful he was waking up. But when his body remained still, I sighed. He might not have a concussion, but he still needed sleep. He pushed his body to the limits on a daily basis. I couldn’t begin to imagine how exhausting that was. So while I wanted nothing more than to wake him up and continue what we’d started last night, I left him alone.

I peered at the alarm clock, but because I didn’t have my contacts in, I couldn’t see it. I felt around the nightstand, finally laying hands on my glasses. Slipping them on, I looked at the clock. Shit! I hadn’t set an alarm because I hadn’t anticipated sleeping so late. Then again, I also hadn’t anticipated staying up until way past midnight, cuddling with Carson and talking about everything and nothing. Long conversations with him were nothing new, but somehow every word had taken on new significance. It was so weird to experience something so new with a person but also to be completely at ease with him.

Because seriously, did last night actually happen? I felt like I was in a dream.

I’d already missed my first class, but if I hurried, I could still make the last two. I moved to get out of bed, but a glance at Carson stopped me. Not able to resist, I trailed my fingers along his arm then leaned down to press my lips on his hand. I repeated the gesture with the other one. As I pulled back to admire him in all his shirtless glory, I realized I was being totally stupid to let him sleep. If I was missing stuff, so was he.

I gently shook his shoulder. “Carson, you should wake up.” He