False Start - Jessica Ruddick Page 0,28

years ago, I would have forgotten all about Carson by now.

Katie crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at Rachel. “We just got here. How are you drunk already?”

Rachel stuck her pointer finger in the air. “We’ve been here almost an hour,” she corrected. “And I am indeed drunk. Do you remember Becca? She’s Carson’s ‘friend.’” Her pointer finger made air quotes, which looked strange since she only used the one finger on one hand. I considered correcting her, but maybe if I didn’t feed into it, Rachel would stop talking about it.

Katie took the empty chair on the other side of Rachel. “Just let me know if she’s bothering you,” she said in a mock whisper. “She might not be able to shut herself up, but I can shut her up.”

“Boo!” Rachel said. “You’re no fun.”

Looking affectionately at her, Kate smiled. Then she noticed my lack of beverage. “So you’re not drinking tonight, either, huh?”

“I won’t be twenty-one until December,” I explained. My underage status had come up more in the last week than it had all of last year, probably because there weren’t many seniors as young as I was.

Katie nodded in understanding. “I’m still interning with the athletic department, and I have to go in early tomorrow. So I’m being responsible.”

“And I am not!” Rachel declared, lifting her drink in a toast. “My student teaching starts Tuesday, so I’m drowning my sorrows in this Bahama Mama.”

Jake and Carson appeared, and Jake placed another drink in front of Rachel. She hopped up so he could sit then plopped herself onto his lap. Carson took the last chair and put a chocolate milkshake in front of me with a flourish of his hand.

“What’s this?” I asked.

He grinned mischievously. “You might not be able to have alcohol, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a special drink.” Looking at the thick beverage in its fancy glass brought back summer memories when Carson, Roman, and I would ride our bikes up to Sonic for milkshakes. Damn him. I was doing my best to convince myself to forget about Carson, but actions like this made it hard.

I took a sip. “Thanks.” The word came out clipped, and I hoped he didn’t notice. I didn’t want to seem ungrateful.

“That… is… so… sweet!” Rachel squealed, her mouth dangerously close to Jake’s ear.

He winced.

“Sorry, babe,” she said. “I’m a little drunk.”

“I noticed,” Jake commented, but he didn’t seem bothered by it. In fact, he looked at her adoringly. Total boyfriend goals.

Rachel leaned on the table. “Carson, isn’t Becca pretty?” She winked at me.

Oh God. I rested my forehead in my hand, suddenly feeling the need to study my milkshake. I’d thought she would let this go. Eying me, Katie’s brow furrowed, like she was thinking she should put a stop to Rachel’s antics but didn’t know how to do it without embarrassing me further. This was one of those I wish the floor would swallow me moments because I was suddenly petrified that I was wearing my feelings on my face. All I needed was for Carson to figure out that I was in love with him in the middle of a crowded bar and with my brother just yards away.

Carson didn’t miss a beat, though. “She’s the prettiest girl in the room.”

“Just in the room?” Rachel prompted.

“Knock it off,” Katie said under her breath.

I felt Carson’s gaze slide over to me, and I couldn’t stop myself from meeting it. “Becca is the prettiest girl in whatever room she’s in. No offense to the present company.”

The compliment would have meant a lot more if I hadn’t just noticed a smear of lipstick on Carson’s collar. Guess I didn’t imagine the perfume smell after all.

Rachel smiled smugly. “None taken.” She mouthed you’re welcome to me, and I smiled meagerly. Though I was annoyed, I wasn’t annoyed with Rachel. Yes, she was being kind of obnoxious, but I got it—she was in love, so she wanted everyone else to be in love.

I had a news flash for her—my love for Carson was never in question. It was him who didn’t see me that way. I’d accepted that a long time ago and made peace with it. But all of a sudden, I wasn’t nearly as okay with it as I thought I was.

***

Carson

ZIZ—SHIT—BECCA was having a terrible time. I would like to say it was because she couldn’t drink like the rest of us, but that wasn’t it. She was used to having a good time without