False Start - Jessica Ruddick Page 0,16
like high school, where people are rewarded for being shallow nitwits.”
I raised my eyebrows and exchanged a look with Nicole. Hanima obviously had some unresolved feelings about her time in high school. I understood that. I hadn’t been popular in high school, but I’d experienced most of the perks that went with the territory because of Carson and Roman, who had been immensely popular. Neither of them had been on homecoming court because they hadn’t wanted the complication since they played football, but Carson had won prom king. It hadn’t been a big deal because he hadn’t made it one. While he always made the most of being the center of attention, he hadn’t actually cared about winning.
“We can announce that you’re running at the pizza party,” Courtney said. “It’ll be a good way for the freshmen to get involved with the organization and the school.”
“I haven’t agreed to it,” I said, exasperated.
“Yet,” Nicole said. “You know you’re going to, so you might as well get it over with.”
“Applications are due Friday,” Hanima added. “So don’t take too long to decide.”
As tempting as it was to do it solely for the sake of raising money for the middle school girls STEM program, I didn’t think I had it in me. It was touching that the other WIE board members thought I would be a good candidate, though. So at the very least, I would pretend to think it over for a few days before breaking the news to them. And I would try to get involved in the summer program in another way, like volunteering. In fact, that would be a good initiative for all WIE members.
Maybe that was the problem with WIE. Our focus was mainly on our own members, but students who couldn’t hack it in the engineering program usually dropped out after freshman year. So aside from mentoring the incoming freshmen, we didn’t have much of a mission. Perhaps we needed to turn our focus outside of ourselves. I felt like an idiot for never considering that, but in a way, it was understandable. The engineering program was so demanding that it was easy to forget about everything else.
Hanima and Courtney left, but I stayed to help Nicole clean up. Her two roommates were neat freaks, and I didn’t want them to get angry with Nicole if we left behind a stray popcorn kernel.
“How did things go with Jimmy?” I asked. I obviously hadn’t seen the end of that flirtation.
“They didn’t,” Nicole said. “I guess he wasn’t interested.”
“Are you sure?”
“Don’t insult me by insinuating that I don’t know when a guy is into me… or not, in this case.”
“That’s not what I was insinuating at all. It just seemed that he liked you. That’s all.”
“I’m surprised you remember anything. That might be the drunkest I’ve ever seen you.”
“Yeah, well,” I muttered. “Don’t get used to it.”
Laughing, Nicole carried the wine glasses into the kitchen. “You were fun.”
I followed her. “Are you saying I’m normally not fun?”
“You were a different kind of fun. But I honestly couldn’t tell if that was because you were drunk or because Carson was there.”
I stuffed the empty wine box into the trash can. “What do you mean by that?”
She shrugged. “You’re normally kind of uptight.”
“Hey!” I might describe myself that way, but it grated on my nerves for someone else to do it.
She put her hands up. “It goes with the territory of being an engineer. But you’re different around him. More relaxed.”
“I’ve known him forever, so that’s probably it.” I definitely felt more relaxed around him, but I hadn’t realized the change in my demeanor was so drastic that others noticed it.
“Maybe. Or maybe it’s something else.”
I stilled. “Like what?”
She grinned. “I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?”
Shit. I’d definitely made a fool of myself after Nicole and Jimmy left, but now I racked my brain, trying to remember if I’d done or said anything to give the impression that I thought of Carson as more than a friend.
“There’s nothing to tell,” I said.
Nicole studied me, and for a moment, I thought she wasn’t going to let it go. When she got her mind set on something, she could be relentless. “Sure. If you say so,” she said finally.
***
Carson
“I SHOULD JUST drop this stupid class.” What kind of psycho professor assigned a paper due the first week of class? I tried to avoid classes that required a lot of writing, but I’d missed the mark with this one.
“Don’t be stupid.”