Falling Into Love with You (The Hate-Love Duet #2) - Lauren Rowe Page 0,98
bodies are spent and we’re way too exhausted to keep going for now, we cuddle naked on the couch for a long moment, catching our breath. For a fleeting moment, I have the impulse to spring up from the couch and play him the song I’ve been writing for him. “Savage Love.” But I quickly decide, no. First off, I’m not finished tinkering with the song. But, more importantly, I’m not ready to say all that “infinite and everlasting” stuff to Savage, just yet.
When I spoke to Mimi in private, during those last days of her life, she explained that Savage has always suffered from extreme anxiety, though the world would never guess that about him, based on his swagger and showmanship. She told me the thing that helps him keep his anxieties in check is taking things one day at a time. Not making firm commitments about the future. Not feeling tied down.
“That’s why Savage proposing to you is especially wonderful,” Mimi said to me. “It’s a huge breakthrough, to know he loves you enough to be able to envision, and promise, forever to you.”
Obviously, it wasn’t true. Savage had promised no such thing to me. And the weight of that lie hit me like a ton of bricks at the time. But nonetheless, that conversation with Mimi has helped me understand Savage better, which has helped me keep my expectations about him in check. For now, the boy has agreed to move into my condo with me when the show is over in a couple weeks. Surely, if Mimi were here and somehow found out we aren’t actually engaged, she’d nonetheless feel Savage’s agreement to move in with me, on its own, was a huge breakthrough for him. A massive commitment, standing alone. And I’m determined to be satisfied with only that, without also dreaming about exchanging promises of “forever” with him, as well.
“So, what ‘Truth’ do you want to know, Fitzy?” Savage asks, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Hmm?”
“Birthday Truth or Dare,” he says. “What’s this all-important question you have that’s more important than getting to watch me make a fool of myself in front of all our friends?”
I pause, considering my options, and finally settle on the one thing that’s been nagging at me the most lately—actually, ever since the press conference, and then even more so after our conversation in Chicago, when Savage admitted he hasn’t slept with anyone else since first laying eyes on me at Reed’s. What’s the whole truth about what Savage said to that Instagrammer at Kai’s birthday party?
I haven’t talked to Savage about that, since those very first days when he swore, up and down, he didn’t mention my name to her, simply because I’ve been certain he wouldn’t give me a straight answer, even if I asked. Or maybe I haven’t asked Savage recently about this because I’ve been afraid the truth wouldn’t be as romantic as I’ve come to hope. If Savage did tell that woman he had to “lay low” for the show, and nothing more, I’d rather not hear that now. On the contrary, I’d rather continue fantasizing about a fairytale where my gorgeous Beast told that Instagrammer he couldn’t sleep with her that night because he had his sights set on someone named Laila.
I stroke Savage’s naked chest and the grooves in his abs for a moment, keeping him in suspense. And finally say, “Okay, here’s my question—and I want the whole truth. Tell me whatever you can remember about your conversation with the Instagrammer at Kai’s birthday party. I know you were drunk and don’t remember everything, especially now that so much time has passed, but—"
“I remember every word of that conversation. At least, every word I said to her.”
My breathing hitches. I look up from his chest and something in his moonlit expression makes me sit up, all the way on the couch, and brace myself for whatever is going to come out of his gorgeous mouth next.
Following my lead, Savage sits up, too. “You want the whole truth? Well, here it is. When I saw her video the next morning, and heard her tell the world I’d said your name twice, I was scared shitless she’d outed me—but also relieved as hell. I felt like I’d dodged a huge bullet. Because the full truth is that I said your name at least ten times to that woman during our short conversation.”
“What?” I whisper.
Savage’s dark eyes flicker with heat. “I was totally and completely