Falling for the Lawyer - By Anna Clifton Page 0,37

the paralegal grant would you agree to that?”

He looked at Alex as he pondered her question. “I wouldn’t be happy about it,” he admitted finally.

“You see?” she declared in triumph.

“I need a paralegal, I want you in that role and I don’t apologise for it. And if something else is happening between us at a personal level then maybe you should be asking yourself why.”

“Don’t say things like that.”

“You mean the truth?”

“You just don’t seem to get it. I’m going to be married soon.”

JP scoffed. “You can’t marry Simon. Even if I knew we were never going to meet again after tonight I’d still say that to you. Why do you think I went into your parents’ house tonight? I saw Simon go in. I guessed who it was and I had to see for myself. You’ll be a trophy wife, Alex. That’s what he wants.”

“No, that’s not true.”

“It is true. I understand men like Simon better than you think. He’ll cherish you as a wife, sure, but only if you do whatever suits his self-image as the head of the household. You can bet your life that’s not going to include anything more than family commitments for you.”

“But there’s nothing wrong with family commitments!”

“I know that!” JP blurted in exasperation. “But you won’t have a choice. I understand your background is very different to mine but that won’t stop you withering in a marriage where you get no say in deciding anything for yourself. You’ve got to tell Simon what you really want and if you’re content with how he reacts you’ll know what to do. And if you do choose him I’ll never raise these issues again.”

JP knew he was pouring forth in a tirade but he couldn’t help it. Alex would never guess the tirade had as much to do with his own mother as it did with her.

“This is not about choosing Simon or you. This has nothing to do with you!” The anguished cadence in her voice hung in the air as silence descended between them. “Don’t you see JP? The way you pre-empted what I wanted tonight, announcing to everyone I might be joining the paralegal program—you, Simon, my father—all making plans for me!”

“Then tell us what you want Alex—tell all of us.”

“I will. And you’ll see you’re wrong about everything. This is my problem, not Simon’s. I should have spoken up earlier about what I wanted to do with my life. How can he support my choices when he doesn’t know what’s going on in my head?”

“Well I sincerely hope he’ll be supportive but forgive me if I don’t crack open the champagne just yet.”

“You see? You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what?”

“Declaring how things are going to be before I’ve had a chance to find my own way. You’re so critical of Simon but don’t you see that you’re exactly like him? Do you have any idea how discouraging it is if those you love hand down the blueprints for your life before you’ve had a chance to work out what you want yourself?”

“Is that what you think I’m doing?” JP asked in disbelief but at the same time wondering whether including him as someone she loved had been an error or a truthful slip. “You think I’m forcing you in a certain direction?”

“Of course you are. Even though we’ve only just met I feel as though I’m being pulled apart in a tug of war. You’re just as determined as Simon that I do things your way.”

JP sat back in his seat and stared out through the windscreen. Was she right? Was he no better than Simon? Was he browbeating her into submission just like everyone else in her life—just like his own father had bullied his own mother into a never-ending torpor of unhappiness and submission?

Taking a deep breath he let it go slowly. He had to pull back for he was beginning to care about Alex, more than he dared to admit. But if he cared about her he had to give her the space she needed to find her own way, otherwise she’d end up resenting him as just another browbeater in her life.

After a minute he turned to her again. “Is that what you want, Alex? You want me to back off from you and your life, in every way?”

She nodded.

He pressed his lips together in a hard grimace. He was worried that by backing off he might lose her. But the alternative, forcing his way into her life