Falling into Forever (Falling into You) - By Lauren Abrams Page 0,35
the vultures will leave me alone after I sit on a few couches. The FFG deal is the one Ben would have wanted.”
“He would have wanted you to take a deal with Jensen? I don’t think so.”
“He would have wanted creative control. FFG was the only company willing to do that, to make the movie on Ben’s terms. Or my terms. Or our terms. Whatever you want to call it. Okay. Enough. That’s your first question.”
“You think that’s the end of it? That Chris will be happy to make Ben’s movie and that you can leave the cabin and move back to Michigan and no one will bother you or Grace?” Sam raises his eyes to the ceiling and clenches his fingers into a fist. “You’re one of the smartest people I know, Hallie, but you can be extraordinarily stupid. He’ll never leave you alone. Not now. Not ever.”
“That’s question number two.”
“You’re a cheater. Plus, you didn’t answer it.”
“He’s left me alone for five years.”
“You changed your name when you got married. You’ve practically been in hiding for the past five years. Maybe he couldn’t find you.”
“Come on, Sam. Do you really think that he couldn’t have found me if he wanted to? He once flew a plane to Prague to get me some cookies for my birthday. And he’s infinitely richer and more powerful than he was at twenty.”
“Maybe he wasn’t ready to find you.”
“Or maybe he just didn’t want to. He’s a different person now. Maybe he’s just not interested in seeing me. Maybe he was never interested.”
“Nice logic, Hals. He comes to beat down the door of your hotel room twice, and you two rekindle the old flame, which I don’t think ever really stopped burning, from his side, at least, and he’s just going to fly away and forget you ever existed? Sure. That’s a leap.”
“I never admitted that anything was rekindled, Sam.”
“You never said anything to the contrary, Hallie.”
We’re locked into a staring contest with each other.
“You’re impossible.” We both say it at the same time, and before I can open my mouth, he sneaks in a quick “Jinx.”
“Breakfast tomorrow is on you.” Sam cackles and touches my arm. “Some things never change.”
I smile at him sadly, and look up again, once more, to see Ben’s eyes watching carefully over us.
“And some things do.”
“That’s the shit, isn’t it?”
I take another sip of the wine and make a face at Sam.
“Tell me what happened, Hals. Just talk.”
He makes it sound so simple.
I could laugh it off and clink my glass against his and talk about music and movies and dancing and Grace’s latest adventures until the night melts into the morning, after dodging a few more questions about Chris, of course.
But it’s been so long since I’ve talked to someone about something real, since I’ve let words come out of my mouth in the hope that I’d say something true. For months, words hurt when I said them aloud, so much so that monosyllables became my primary mode of communication, even with my precocious and beautiful and wonderful little girl, who deserved more, so much more. I poured my heart into transforming Ben’s words into something that he would have been proud to call his own, but the way words form themselves on paper is so very different from the way they sound, tumbling out in rounded edges and musical notes.
Sam pats his hand over the spot next to him on the couch and I slide into it. In looking up into his familiar face, I feel strong enough to start with one word, and then another. In halting, screeching starts and stops, I start to speak, about Ben and Chris and Grace and fear and loneliness and sorrow.
Of all the things that I thought I had forgotten how to do, laughing and smiling and dancing and playing, I think I missed talking most. It is, in itself, a kind of healing.
Chapter 10
CHRIS
Marcus is giving the entrance to the museum a dubious look.
“You sure about this, Jensen? You know I’m not a big fan of mingling with the commoners.”
“The elite members of the music industry aren’t exactly commoners, even by your lofty standards.”
“Oh, sure they are. Everyone wants to be in the movies. Especially the pop stars. Have you even been to a movie recently? Filled with pop stars.”
“I try to avoid that trash whenever possible. You know I don’t ever go to the movies. Not even my own premieres.”