Fallen Stars and Broken Dreams - C.C. Masters Page 0,82
in this drink?
“Katya?” Abby said softly.
I shook my head in confusion. “What was I talking about?”
“The treasure?” Abby asked.
I laughed. “Even if there was a treasure, I’m sure it would have been found in the last hundred years. Besides, do you really think that an American would be able to waltz across the border and get away with what’s probably priceless artifacts now?” I shook my head. “Babulya thought that the past should stay buried, and our family should only care about who we are now. That’s why she never gave me the location.”
“Do you agree?” Abby asked curiously. “You don’t want to at least check it out?”
“My babushka never told me the secret location,” I chuckled. “Nina seems obsessed with money and status, so she might be desperate enough to try,” I shrugged. “I guess Richard is probably one of the closest things to an aristocrat as you can get in America.”
“So that’s it?” Abby prodded.
I tried to shrug, but it just threw me off balance. “Nina might just want to sponge off him for the rest of her life, or she might be trying to use him as a stepping stone to something else. I don’t know or care. I have no intention of ever seeing or speaking to her ever again after I turn eighteen.”
“Don’t you want money?” Abby asked. “Would you really be able to give up this lifestyle?”
I looked her right in the eyes. “I would leave for New York right now if Richard hadn’t threatened to have me arrested as a runaway and have the Logans prosecuted as kidnappers. I would love to go back to living with Ryan and take back my place at one of the best ballet schools in the country.”
“What about your dad? Have you ever met him?”
I shook my head. “Nina would never tell anyone who had gotten her pregnant. Babulya said she had a short list of suspects, but she didn’t want to risk one of them stepping in and taking me away from her.” I smiled wryly. “I think she was also afraid that he might not be Russian.”
“You don’t want to know?”
“No. I’ve lived my whole life not knowing, and I think it’s better that way. I guarantee you that it would just be a disappointment.”
“You mean because you don’t think he’s rich or anything?”
I snorted. “No, because I doubt he’s a good person.”
I wasn’t sure if Nina was ashamed of whoever had gotten her pregnant, or if she had just wanted to put the entire situation behind her. Either way, I doubted I would ever be able to get the truth out of her.
“I don’t want to find out that I’m descended from two evil people,” I admitted. “I want to think that it’s possible for me to be good. I want to believe that a part of me is good.”
“Your parents might give you DNA, but they don’t make you good or bad. You decide that,” Abby said gently.
I gave a sad sigh. “I loved my babushka, but she wasn’t a nice person. I knew she loved me deep down, but she rarely showed it. I think she might have been afraid of spoiling me and having me end up like Nina. She always said that she’d wished she had been tougher on my mother.”
Abby made a sympathetic sound, but I kept going. “I think that’s a part of the reason why I got so into ballet as a kid. Ballerinas are respected in Russia. When my teachers told my babushka how talented I was, I saw a gleam of approval in her eyes that I’d never seen before. I wanted more of that from her. I pushed myself harder and harder, thinking she might love me more if I was better.”
I looked up at Abby. “My babushka always said that she didn’t think my father was ‘anyone of consequence’ because Nina would have bragged about it. But how can the person who literally created me not be of consequence?”
“So you do want to know who he is.”
“I’m afraid to know. But Nina will never tell me, so it doesn’t matter what I want.”
“Is that why you hate your mom so much?” Abby asked softly.
I just shook my head, suddenly feeling tired. It seemed like too much effort to go through the whole spiel about how she abandoned me in search of fame and money.