into Ms. Wykes’s office. She had names now. Specific names to search for. Did she dare?
All through the day, Kandace turned the question over in her mind. Do you dare? Do you dare? No one knew she was aware of the sleeping medication in the desserts. She hadn’t even told Aurora. She knew Ms. West hadn’t mentioned speaking to her because no punishment had been forthcoming. Not only that, but Ms. West had given Kandace information. Why would she rat on Kandace, when Kandace could rat on her too?
It was time. It was time to use the information she’d been given. It was time to put things in motion that would result in the closure of Lilith House and hopefully more than several prison sentences. It was time to help the kids in the basement, and to ensure that what was happening now did not continue.
You’re stronger than you think you are.
Kandace pulled in a slow, steady breath. Okay then. It was time for Kandace to prove it.
This was her opportunity and she had to take it. She might not get another.
**********
The men filed in, Kandace’s hands trembling as she clutched the back of the pew in front of her. Please, God, please don’t let me be chosen tonight. Her heart galloped as they went through the motions of the opening prayer, sweat breaking out on her brow when the men stood up to “bless” the girls, their footsteps echoing in her brain like her own death walk. If it was true as she suspected, that one of them had impregnated her while she was drugged and unconscious, she could ruin them all.
And Kandace didn’t think they’d allow that to happen. No, she knew they wouldn’t.
One of the men was moving slowly her way, approaching the end of the aisle where she stood, head bowed, heart pounding wildly, a prayer on her lips, but not directed toward any god Lilith House believed in.
Please, please. Don’t let me be chosen.
An arrow of guilt speared her. Begging God to spare her being chosen meant she was praying for another girl to suffer unknown indignities that she would never even remember. And the fact that she wouldn’t know what happened to her, in Kandace’s mind, made it worse, not better. She pressed her lips together, tears gathering behind her closed lids. She gripped the pew in front of her to disguise the shaking of her hands. She didn’t know what to pray for and so she simply repeated in the quiet of her mind, Help me. Please help me.
No touch came. She let out a controlled breath, attempting to slow her rapid heartbeat. The man moved away, obviously having chosen the classmate next to her—Lucille, the girl who’d been responsible for her “cleansing.” She wanted to feel some measurement of satisfaction, but she didn’t. Couldn’t.
No one deserved what these men were doing to them.
And she understood these girls—their opportunism, their poor judgment, their greed, their lack of empathy, and their jealousy. She was one of them. She’d displayed all of those things too. She was no worse, but she was also no better. She had no right to judge.
Later, Kandace lay in bed, listening to the drugged snores of Aurora and Sydney. She didn’t know if they’d been chosen and so she waited. The house squeaked, quiet footsteps echoing through the walls as girls were carried from their beds. No one climbed the stairs to the attic.
Kandace slid quietly out of bed, keeping her nightgown on as it was the only other clothes she had except for her uniform. She slipped her shoes on and made her way down the rickety set of steps, her muscles tensed at every squeak and creak, praying that if she was heard, it would be assumed that it was one of the men retrieving one of their “blessed ones.” She didn’t think she had to be overly quiet. Tonight, Lilith House was a bevy of activity, and they all believed quiet was unnecessary.
As she slipped around the corner, tiptoeing down the third-floor hallway, she caught movement out of the corner of her eye. Kandace’s heart lurched and she pulled herself into a doorway, pressing herself against the hard wood, her rounded belly showing past the jamb. She held her breath as a man, carrying a girl, moved from one hallway to another, his head turned in the opposite direction. The girl in his arms looked small and frail and Kandace clapped a hand over her mouth when