at first when I tried to stand, but then I steadied myself.
When I crossed to the window, I stared out at an iron-gray river, entranced. I didn’t think I’d been here before. Was this the east? The west?
I had no idea where I was, only that I was on a cliff high above the rushing river, and the sunlight was breaking through periwinkle gray clouds. I pressed my palms against the glass, my breath fogging it as I stared out. With a high whistle, a draft rushed through a tiny gap in the side of the window.
The coldness of the glass against my hands sharpened my senses, until memories started to break free from where I’d trapped them.
I’d been in a different castle before this, and something terrible had happened there. The pressure in my skull was growing sharper, more painful, and I had to let something out.
“Samael.” As I said the name out loud, the full force of the memory came slamming back into me again.
My heart began to slam against my ribs.
Oh, God.
I’d planted a fucking bomb. Finn had betrayed me—utterly and completely. My sister, too.
And I’d left a bomb in the tea drawer, and Samael and Sourial had been there. Had I killed them?
Guilt was cracking my ribs open. I’d gone there to kill Samael, because I thought he’d slaughtered Alice. Only it turned out, I’d been tricked.
I didn't get to them in time, did I?
I pushed through the crushing grief to rush to the bolted door, trying to open it.
I started to bang on the door, screaming for Samael.
Why was I here? If I had actually killed these two powerful fallen angels, why had the soldiers let me live? I shouldn’t be in a comfortable bed, with a glass of water and a view of the river.
I wanted to break free and hunt down Finn. I didn’t know what I’d do when I caught him, but I just wanted him to hurt like I did.
And then I needed a word with Alice. She’d betrayed me, too.
Problem was, I seemed to be locked in this room.
I slammed my fist against the door. “Hello? Anyone!”
At last, the door opened and I found myself staring up at a pair of storm-gray eyes.
My chest squeezed. Samael looked like perfection, not a scratch on him. On the downside, he was looking at me with an expression that suggested he was considering murdering me.
"You're okay," I stammered. “You're not dead.”
“Not for lack of trying on your part.” His deep voice sent a shiver of fear up my spine.
“What about Sourial?” I asked, catching my breath.
“I’m sorry to inform you that you also failed to kill him.” Flames blazed in his eyes. “Sourial nearly died, but he has been recovering. I was directly in the blast, and I would not have recovered, if it weren’t for the fact that your seduction did not go far enough.” He stepped closer, then leaned down next to me, his breath warming my ear. “If you intended to kill me, you really should have done a more thorough job of fucking me. Better luck next time.”
My cheeks burned red. “I was given bad information.”
He looked into my eyes, his piercing gaze taking me apart. “Is that right?”
“I tried to stop you. I ran in there to stop you from opening the drawer.”
He arched an eyebrow. “You tried to stop me from setting off the bomb that you planted to kill me? How very noble of you. Be sure to remind me that I owe you my undying gratitude.”
He shut the door behind him, and fear skittered over my skin. It was just me and an angel of death, alone in a castle room. And I’d recently tried to blow him up.
I took a step back. “You need to give me a chance to explain.”
He cupped the side of my face, gently—but his eyes were searing me. A sheen of gold swept over his cheekbone, like he was about to lose control again. “The Free Men convinced you to try to murder me.”
“That’s not inaccurate.”
The pressure was building up higher in my head, ready to explode—until I understood what I needed to do. I needed to just tell him everything. Everything.
“My name isn’t Zahra. It’s Lila. I was never a courtesan. I'm a thief. Rumor used to be that my sister worked in Castle Hades. All anyone knew was she went missing. I suspected your soldiers killed her. Or you personally. I thought you were killing those women