As she answered, I was thinking of pressing my mouth against her throat, tasting her. Biting. I wanted to hear her gasp.
I hadn't been listening at all. "What?" I asked again, further cementing my status as an idiot.
She pressed in close to me, her body warm. She said, “I didn’t hear anything. They were jabbering about people’s arses.”
I sincerely doubted this was all she’d overheard, but I could hear her pulse racing, and that was distracting me.
“Nothing about a book?” I whispered, trying to stay focused.
She shook her head, eyes wide. Her brown eyes were pools of darkness, with sweeps of long dark eyelashes.
“Book?” she asked.
I closed my eyes.
Liar. What was a person without their word? Language was a gift, and liars abused it. The world had been made through words.
I opened my eyes again. “And what about the baron?” I managed.
She was whispering again, but all I could think about was what it would be like to kiss her between her legs. My fists clenched.
Why couldn’t I have dreamt of Ernald? He’d proven himself to be far more useful to me as a spy than Zahra was. And with him around, I wouldn’t risk losing my mind.
I pulled my gaze away from her, trying to quench my desire, and glanced out the two-way mirror to my left. There was a woman with bright red hair lying across Lord Apedale’s lap. She was naked from the waist down, her backside red from being hit. Other women were writhing in the laps of the Free Men, shameless. I imagined myself for a moment with Zahra in my lap, half naked …
They were smoking something, a pale smoke with a sweet scent. I could hear my own blood roaring, and the smell of lust bloom began to float through the air. That was what the common folks called the bright red flower that grew in some of the fields to the north. Long ago, they’d crushed it up and smoked it, and filled orgy rooms with incense. It was what they’d used for their pagan fertility festivals a thousand years ago, when they thought the gods would help them fertilize their fields if they fucked each other around bonfires.
Now, the scent of that aphrodisiac was curling into this small space, filling it. I never thought it affected angels before, but now I thought I was in real trouble.
With an iron will, I tried to clear my thoughts.
It was just that Zahra seemed to be feeling the effects also.
She slid her arms around my neck, and I shuddered with pleasure. I heard her heart race a little faster, and when I looked into her dark eyes, I saw that her pupils were dilating. As I breathed in her scent, I stiffened. Was that just the aphrodisiac, or …
It was hard to think clearly. I was going to lose it. My blood pounded hard, thoughts sliding into shadow. I was going to lose control completely.
Shadows whirled in my mind, and I was starting to shift, my true face emerging. I knew the beast was coming out, and flames were igniting in my eyes. My mind went black for a moment, then I realized one hand was gently around her throat, the other at her waist, my thumb pressing into the curve of her hip just over her silk panties. I wanted to rip this little bit of silk off her, to take her and make her mine.
“Slide into you, fill you …”
“What?” she whispered.
Had I spoken out loud?
But as the darkness descended, I had no idea what I might do next.
And that was my last coherent thought before everything went black.
31
Lila
Samael’s hand was clamped so hard on my hip that I was sure he’d leave a bruise. His other hand slid up my neck, and he threaded his fingers into my hair. With a sharp tug, he pulled back my head.
His powerful body trapped me against the double-sided mirror. Slowly, one of his knees slid between my legs. My throat felt vulnerable to him—my whole body, really.
I was in serious danger right now, because Samael no longer seemed in control. Being pinned here by him, pressed against him, fear entwined with a dark, forbidden thrill. Every inch of my skin felt sensitive, my pulse racing wildly. I tried to stay still, waiting to see if he’d release his grip on me.
But the real question was—why in the hell was I so turned on by this? Because God, it felt good.