the door behind her. “I’m not sure if that’s good upbringing or a guilty curse,” she said.
“Both.”
She led Lori through the foyer and out the back door to the patio. “It’s such a beautiful day. I hope you don’t mind if we sit out here.”
Lori dropped her purse on the kitchen counter before following her. “I’ve been in this house five times since you moved in, and each time you entertain outside.”
“I like it out here. It’s the place I feel most comfortable.”
“Is there a reason for that? You mentioned something about selling last year.”
Shannon looked around at her midcentury modern home, made a little warmer by the darker wood tones than were normally seen in the style. “I picked this home two months after Paul executed the contract for divorce. Somewhere I thought maybe he’d realize he didn’t want to split, and he and I would spend time here together. This home is more his style than mine.”
“I should have guessed.”
Shannon crossed to her outdoor kitchen and found a corkscrew. She’d already set up glasses and a cheese plate for them to soak up the wine.
“When I think of all the pining I have done over that man. What a waste.”
“Some breakups are harder than others.”
The cork lost its hold on the bottle with a pop.
Shannon filled their glasses and lifted hers for a toast. “To positive change.”
Lori eyed her with speculation. “Since we’re drinking wine, I have to assume that means you’re not talking about pregnancy changes.”
Shannon sipped the cabernet and took a seat. Lori followed. “No. Nothing like that. I’m closing my business.”
Lori stopped midsip. “What? Where did this come from?”
“I don’t know. A combination of things, I think.”
“I thought you loved photography.”
“I do. Just not what I’m doing. It’s like this house . . . wedding photography is a compromise. I didn’t realize how much of my life has been a sellout until I watched Corrie run away on her wedding day.”
“Avery told me all about that.”
“It was quite the show. You hear about those things happening, but to see it go down . . . crazy. I noticed how upset everyone became when they realized she’d ditched the dress and ran off, and I thought . . . that is exactly why I never confronted anyone in my personal life. I was too concerned for everyone else’s feelings and needs. But you know what I witnessed after Corrie left?”
“Other than the groom getting hammered?”
Shannon smiled at the memory. “Other than Victor singing in the bar, yeah. I realized that everyone who had come to the wedding had a moment of shock, and then they went on with their lives. I’m sure Corrie’s parents are giving the girl hell, but they have to go back to living their lives eventually. Like with my sister completely shedding the things she was told she needed and gallivanting around other countries, living on pennies . . . my parents were upset about it, still complain on occasion, but it doesn’t rule them.”
“You’ve given this some thought.”
“I have. I’ve reflected more in the past month than I have in years. My only rebellion was marrying Paul. And when that ended, I faded away. Literally. I fell into commercial photography because it was a respectable job. It didn’t hurt that my name and status as Paul’s ex-wife landed me contracts that paid top dollar. I guess I knew on some level I was using his name, but I didn’t care.”
“But you care now?”
“Not about using the name. Not really. But I don’t want to just be Paul Wentworth’s ex-wife. I can hide in my studio and book a wedding a month to keep myself from being bored, but where is that leading me?”
“What about having a child?”
Shannon closed her eyes, still saw what she thought her baby would look like. “I still want that. But if I have a baby to fill a void, what happens when that child grows up and has a life of its own? I’ll be right back here, or worse, I’ll put my needs on my kid and make them hate me for it.”
“I think you’re too observant to allow that to happen.”
Shannon sipped her wine. “Maybe. Maybe not. I need to find something external, something other than a relationship or a child to help find meaning in this life.” She placed her free hand on Lori’s. “I know I have you and the others, but what I really need is to rely on me.”