Fucking hell. I knew he didn't have any underwear underneath because Steele never wore underwear, and that thought alone had me biting the inside of my cheek.
"MK?" he prompted, raising his brows at me. A slight smile teased at his lips, though, and I felt my cheeks warm. Dammit. I'd been caught perving.
"Yup, sure can," I replied, clearing my throat as I turned away to collect our food and hand him a plate.
We took our food over to the sofa, and I flicked my TV on before starting my burger. It was just some reality TV show about glass blowing, but anything was better than having nothing to fill the awkward silence while we ate.
Steele seemed totally unconcerned with the tension in the room, though. He took his time finishing his food and seemed almost entertained by the glass-blowing competition on my huge flat-screen. When I finished, I placed my empty plate on the coffee table and shot him a serious look.
"So, are we going to talk about this or what?" I asked, despite the wave of anxiety washing through me.
Steele cocked his pierced brow at me and finished his mouthful before placing his plate on top of mine. "Okay, let's talk about it." His tone was calm and careful, and he ran a hand over his buzzed hair. "I didn't tell you about the marriage contract, and I should have. I had plenty of opportunities and I chose to keep my mouth shut every single time and I fucking shouldn't have. I know that now, but hindsight can't change the past. So, I'm sorry. It was the wrong choice, and I seriously wish I'd done things differently."
His gray eyes met mine, and I didn't for a second doubt the sincerity of his apology. But...
"That's... that's not what I meant," I replied in a choked whisper. "I meant the fact that I killed Hank."
Both his brows shot up, and his lips parted. "Oh. That."
I nodded. "That. But... yeah, I mean I guess we need to talk about all the other shit too."
Steele shifted on my sofa, turning to face me more but also letting my far-too-small-for-him robe part in an all-too-tempting kind of way. It took every shred of my willpower to keep my eyes on his face and not anywhere else.
"You're right; we should talk about Hank," he murmured, running his tongue over his lower lip and flashing me his piercing. "That was the first time you've killed someone, huh?"
My eyes widened, and I spluttered a sound of shock. "First time? Yeah, Max. I can't say I've been going around shooting people and keeping it quiet. You know I haven't ever..." I drew a deep breath, shaking my head in disbelief at my own actions. "I've never killed someone, no. I've never even shot a gun before at anything."
He reached out and took my hand in his, linking our fingers together loosely. "I know. Sorry, that was a dumb thing to say. But for what it's worth, you looked like a seasoned professional. Smart move shooting point blank to eliminate the risk of missing."
I snorted a short laugh. "Like there were any other options in a room that small."
Steele quirked a half smile. "Trust me, before Kody learned to shoot, he'd have messed that shot up. Probably would have hit Archer in the foot again."
"Again?" I repeated. "Damn, I wish I could have seen the first time."
He shared a grin with me, then squeezed my fingers. "Are you okay? It's been so long since any of us had our first kill I've become a bit desensitized to it all."
I took a moment to consider his question. Was I okay? The expected answer was no. No one should be okay after taking a person's life. Right? So, why was I so calm?
"I think I am," I finally replied in a whisper. "Or maybe the reality of it hasn't quite set in yet. But I don't feel... anything. I'm not torn up with guilt or regret or fear. I'm just… I don't even know. Relieved? That's fucked up, isn't it? I should be feeling more."
Steele didn't immediately placate me. He released my fingers, then shifted closer on the couch and wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. It was the gesture of comfort I hadn't even known I needed, and I clung on for dear life.
"Let's get something straight, beautiful," he murmured in my ear, his voice low and gruff. "There's no right way to deal with a situation