Fake Friends - Saxon James Page 0,7

breath as the option bobs to the top.

As I see it, yes.

Wow.

I stare at the photo Circus just posted for a moment, until I come to my senses and quickly stash the phone in my pocket. My grandma would hit the roof if she caught me drooling over a picture of a guy, and my grandpa … he might be getting old, but I don’t want to think about what he would do.

I duck down to check the casserole Grandma put in the oven as she slices a salad to go with it. Late last year, Mom and Dad decided that moving Mom’s parents into a little cottage out back would be good for the whole family. It means less stress on my parents while they work at the diner all day, and someone to keep an eye on my grandparents as they get older.

Mom and Dad have always had a strong sense of family responsibility.

Too bad I wasn’t factored into this decision.

The house already feels too small for me and my parents, but adding my grandparents to the mix makes it downright claustrophobic. I can’t even let myself think about the picture of Circus, covered in dirt, clearly about to shower, without being convinced my grandpa can hear my thoughts.

So I clench my jaw and ignore them.

Just like I’ve always done.

Still, it was no better when I was in Portland either. I only slipped a couple of times, and went to a gay club to pick up, but all I could worry about was if I’d get caught. Ninety miles wasn’t enough distance.

“What do you have cooking in here?” Grandpa asks, walking into the kitchen for another ginger ale.

“We’re doing a casserole.”

“Ah, helping, are you?” His expression darkens. “That city’s turned you soft. Why don’t you come watch the football game with me?”

“Thanks, but we’re almost done.”

He hmphs. “I’m sure your gran has got it sorted.”

“Then I guess I’ll take a shower.”

“Suit yourself.” He sneers a little as he heads back through to the living room.

Well, I’m not going to subject myself to him calling the players names that he somehow still thinks are okay to use. No, thank you.

Instead, I climb the stairs to my room and close the door firmly behind myself.

The lack of privacy is just one of the annoyances grating at me, and every time I picture Circus and his fucking twenty-five grand it makes my blood hot. The things I could do with that kind of money.

I wouldn’t be living in this house, for a start. I could actually look at putting my Sports Science degree to good use.

I almost, for the hundredth time this week, go to call Tanner, whose number I stole off my sister, just to try and get in touch with Circus.

He holds all the cards.

And I’m sure he had no problem with getting someone else to help out, but I won’t deny the thought of taking sexy shots with him is appealing too.

I shouldn’t find it appealing, and I wish I could be stronger when it comes to thinking about him, but he’s so attractive it isn’t fair.

I’m trying to work out how to come to terms with being gay, while finding balance with the man my family expects me to be. But then I think of that photo, and my dick gets interested, and I open a game on my phone instead. Every time I consider jerking off, I distract my hands with whatever the closest mindless task is, and because of that habit, I’ve become pretty good at these stupid racing games.

Definitely not a life achievement I’m proud of.

Five minutes later and my problem still hasn’t gone away. My dick digs into the mattress, and I swear I’ve never been as horny as I have been in the weeks since I returned to Sunbury.

Then again, high school was pretty fucking rough. All those lunchtimes I’d sit opposite Circus and watch his lips. All those weekends we’d hike Crown Trails and Circus’s hand would brush mine. All those Sunday mornings we’d sit in church and catch each other’s eyes, and I’d try, like the good Catholic boy I was, to pay attention to the sermon and not on what Circus’s skin would taste like.

There’s a knock on the front door, then quiet voices downstairs before my gran calls up for me.

I have no clue who it could be, because most of my friends from high school moved on from Sunbury, and the one or two who stuck around