Fake Friends - Saxon James Page 0,66
always.
His thrusting picks up, and I hurry to grab my cock to give it some relief. It only takes a few quick jerks before I’m spilling over my hand, and Rowan’s not far behind me. He collapses on top of me in a sweaty, panting heap, and I reach up to run my fingers through his hair as I try to catch my breath.
He doesn’t seem to be crying again which is an improvement.
Rowan pulls out and ditches the condom, but when I expect him to cuddle back in close to me, he settles against the headboard instead.
I reach for a shirt to wipe off my hand and stomach, then clean up the lube from my ass as best as I can. That shirt is headed for the trash.
By the time I crawl up next to him, Rowan’s resting his head in his hands, and all the confidence he had during sex has completely disappeared.
I kiss his hair. “Ready to talk yet?”
“Talking is the last thing I want to do.”
“Yep. I got that impression.” I try for comforting. “Want to do it anyway?”
When he looks up again, the eyes that had been so full of lust a moment ago look sad. “I came out. To my family.”
“Holy shit …” Probably not the most supportive response, but what does he expect? I’m legitimately in shock. “I have so many questions.”
“Basically, Grandpa was going on with his shit and said you were trying to turn me gay. I said there’s no way for you to turn me when I’ve been gay my whole life. And that’s pretty much the whole story.”
My heart is beating faster. “You mean … you didn’t have to? You … you came out on purpose?”
His forehead wrinkles up. “Sort of? I guess. It’s more that I was so mad and so tired of everything he was saying that I lost my mind over it.”
He doesn’t get it. Maybe he was angry or tired or whatever, but it doesn’t matter what emotion was behind it because he said the words. And he meant to. “How many times has he said all those same things?”
Rowan shrugs. “I don’t know. Hundreds.”
“And did you ever come out before now?”
“Well, no, obviously.”
“Exactly.” I lick my lips and lean in a little so he’s paying attention. “You were ready. And I’m so proud of you.”
“I couldn’t let him talk shit about you. I just couldn’t.”
“You did last time,” I point out. Not to make him feel bad, but because I want him to know this was all him. I’m almost too scared to ask the next question. “What happened then?”
“I bolted. The last thing I wanted was to stick around there and have them tell me how they really felt.”
I doubt it’s what I would have done, but who the hell am I to know? I never had to deal with the whole coming out thing. My mom always assumed I was straight until Rowan started coming around, always, and Dad picked up on it. Then they sat me down and told me they approved.
They didn’t even give me a chance to go through all that emotional angst.
So what Rowan’s going through … I’m the last person who can give advice.
The fact he didn’t stay and face them though, it makes me hope that maybe they won’t all react the way he thinks they will.
“I’m glad you knew you could come to me,” I finally say, reaching for his hand and linking our fingers together.
He tries to smile. “Not like I had anywhere else to go.”
“Wow. Way to make a boy feel special.”
That gets a laugh, even if it’s a weak one. His thumb runs over the back of my hand. “You, umm, are, you know.”
“What?”
“Special.” Rowan pins me with his stare. “Especially to me.”
His words make me unsettled, cloaking me in a completely foreign warmth that no one but him has ever made me feel before.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve been special to anyone.”
“What?” He turns to look at me. “What about your friends? And I swear everyone in town just lights up when you talk to them.”
“It’s cute you think that.”
“Because it’s true.”
I press my lips against a smile. Tonight is not a happy kind of night, but when he says things like that, how am I supposed to react? “Well, I also think the same about you.”
“At least we’ve got each other.”
“Nope.” I wriggle closer. “None of that. We’re not going to be one of those couples who are