Fake Friends - Saxon James Page 0,57
who should be there with us.” His eyes turn soft, and I’m sure he’s about to cry. “And on Mother’s and Father’s Day … we’ll go visit them. Together. I’ll hold you while you cry and, Jesus, I’ll probably cry too.”
I swallow around the lump forming in my throat as my eyes start to prickle. “What about your family?”
“I’ll see them the days in between. But holidays, those are yours now.”
I laugh because if I don’t, I’ll cry. “And if they think there’s something going on with us?”
The first bit of uncertainty seeps into his expression. Then he smiles. “I’ll tell them you’re my roommate.” Rowan starts to tickle me, and I snort while I bat him away.
“Fine. Deal. Your holidays are all mine.”
He kisses me softly. “Looking forward to it.”
The Gucci photoshoot is huge. A massive set, lights everywhere, racks and racks of clothes. No one talks to us much, and there’s a lot of standing around and waiting.
We’re shuffled on for certain shots, staged, told to hold awkward poses that make my muscles burn.
Not only are there photos, but we also have to stage behind-the-scenes “scenes” where we’re laughing and having fun and sneaking secret moments between shots to hug and share kisses.
It’s all bullshit. I know this isn’t something I’d be able to do with my life long term. It’s a fun ride, a bit of a thrill. But if Circus wasn’t here with me, I probably would have walked out by now.
It takes three days to get all the shots they need, and as soon as we’re out of there each day, Circus drags us to dinner or a show, and then we go back to the hotel room and fool around.
I could endure just about anything to end up in bed with him.
When we finally wrap on the final day, and I change out of the stiff, uncomfortable clothing, there’s champagne passed around.
We both wave them off, keen to get on the road. Neither of us are in a huge hurry to get back to Sunbury, so we’ve set aside a week to do the fourteen-hour drive. There are plenty of places to stop along the way that Circus says will be good for aesthetics.
I can’t believe I actually know what that means now.
And after four days of being inside, I’m glad to get out of the city. We stop at Redwood Park and freshwater lagoons, and Circus is always there with his camera. We went through all the Polaroid film on our first night in LA, but I’m definitely up for a repeat at some point in the future.
That’s if we’re still doing this when we get back.
It’s been a bit of a mindfuck. Acting like boyfriends during the day and then making each other come at night. My brain is struggling to keep up with the difference between what’s real and what’s still pretend.
Could I ask Circus? Of course. But do I trust him to give me a straight answer? Not so much.
The thing I’m most scared of though will be Circus telling me this is over when we get back. I’m becoming more at ease with touching him and letting myself go, and if he decides that’s all I needed, I’m not so sure I could keep playing happy boyfriends for him in front of the camera.
Because Circus is someone special.
Even if he doesn’t see it, I’ve known since I was sixteen years old and trying to catch his eye.
I don’t want to let him go. Not now.
Maybe not ever.
And isn’t that a scary thought?
Because the more I think about it, the more he’s right that I could never ask someone as special to me as he is to pretend to be my roommate. Our friends would know, but who else? If I don’t want my family finding out, that pretty much excludes everyone else in town. It’s too risky otherwise.
Damn, I want him though. More than just his body. I want his heart. I want him to know that we can be a family.
I sigh as Circus pulls up to the edge of a creek.
“Where are we?”
“Figured we’d stay here tonight.”
“And be killed by a mass murderer? Sounds like a solid plan.”
He laughs. “What is it about you and forests? You realize we’re more likely to be found and killed in the middle of a city. Who else is out here, huh?”
I lean closer to him. “That’s the question of the night.”
Ignoring all sense of self-preservation, he jumps out and heads