Fake Friends - Saxon James Page 0,52
it’s easy. I’ve worked with other models before, but this is intuitive. We read each other and joke around. It doesn’t take much to get a real smile, and every time we look at each other, it’s easy to pretend that this whole fake thing is real.
Dangerous thoughts.
Because I don’t doubt his interest for a minute.
If this were a better world, we’d both be out, and there wouldn’t be anything in our way. But as much as I’m starting to feel for him, trying to make a relationship happen while he’s still in the closet will be too much for both of us.
It never works.
And I don’t know how much longer we can continue pretending like it will.
After the shoot, we have the rest of the afternoon off. I’m already tired from all the excitement, but Circus doesn’t let me creep back to the hotel to sleep. He insists we do the tourist thing.
I guess we can sleep when we’re dead, but that seems like a long way off.
“And look what I brought,” Circus says, pulling a Polaroid camera out of his backpack.
I laugh and take it from him as we approach the Hollywood sign. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever used one of these before.”
“I rarely do. But every now and then they’re fun to mess around with. I have a bunch of film we can use today, and then another lot for … later.”
My ears perk up at his tone. “What’s happening later?”
“We’re going to be working on your gay comfort levels some more.”
Huh. I don’t know what to say to that. My dick is letting me know it’s on board, but my head still feels funny about it.
Should I be concerned at how easy it is for Circus to be sexual around me?
I shake that thought away. I know it comes from a place I’m trying to ignore. Wanting to get naked as often as possible with Circus isn’t because of some loose morals mentality; it’s entirely because of how I feel about him. Which is a lot.
And I swear it goes both ways.
Because it’s impossible to believe he doesn’t feel the same way when he looks at me like that.
He reaches his hand back behind him, and I take it. I let him lead. I’d follow him anywhere.
“Come down here.”
We walk down the grassy hill to a point he’s happy with. He hesitates a moment, then looks up at me with the most sheepish expression I’ve ever seen on his face. “Are we okay?”
The lying. When I’d first realized what he’d done, I’d been pissed. It’d made me look stupid, and I felt bad taking his money, but if he can forgive me for something much bigger, forgiving him for this is nothing.
“We’re definitely okay. But you can’t hide things from me just because it’s more convenient. We’re, well, business partners, I guess. We need to trust each other.”
“I get it. But I meant what I said about not wanting the money for this job.”
“I don’t understand. If you don’t like spending your parents’ money, why don’t you make your own?”
He shrugs and looks out over the valley. “I have, but it all feels tainted now.”
I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose your parents so young. I hate that he had to go through that. Stepping forward, I pull him closer until I can wrap my arms around him.
“Good pose.” He goes to lift the camera, but I take it from his hand.
“No posing. Just let me hug you.”
And he does. His hair feels warm against my cheek from the afternoon sun, and he smells like a mixture of the makeup and hair products they used on us.
“Look at you, being all affectionate in public.”
I pull back and kiss his temple. “To be fair, it’s not like anyone is around.”
“Now can I photo?”
Like I’d ever say no to him.
We take nice shots and pull faces, and Circus turns around and pulls his pants down just enough to reveal the top curve of his ass cheeks.
I take the photo quickly, then admire how his warm brown skin looks in the sun.
He catches me staring, and I don’t try to hide it.
“You wouldn’t be checking me out, would you?”
“Shamelessly.”
He winks and pulls his shorts back up. “Come on, then, lots to see.”
I swear by the time we’re done, it’s like he’s dragged me all over the city. All the places have started to blur together, but we’ve got a pile of Polaroids to refresh