Fake Friends - Saxon James Page 0,4

slip. It makes my heartbeat kick up a notch.

And yes, he has every reason to hate me, but I need to remember the reasons for keeping my distance too. Namely, this insane pull I have to him.

“I still don’t think I understand,” Tanner says. “Someone wants to give you money to take photos in a swimsuit?”

“I’m an influencer,” Circus explains. Which of course I already knew after stumbling across his social media account. “Brands give me money to wear their stuff so others will go buy it. But Royals wants someone to do it with me. They want it to be, ah, sexy.”

Somehow I can just tell he’s trying not to look at me.

Tanner reels back. “And you wanna get sexy with Roo?”

For some reason Circus finds that hilarious, and I’m honestly surprised he hasn’t told me to piss off yet.

“It’s all an illusion. But I know Royce’s freckles will get people’s attention and make the shots stand out. I’d be happy to do it with you too, but can you honestly say you wouldn’t be awkward as fuck, pressed up against me in only a swimsuit?”

Poor Tanner’s whole face goes red. “Ah, no, definitely not. That’s not for me.”

Royce lifts a hand. “With all the love in the world, you don’t have a chance in hell of me doing it either.”

“It’s over twenty grand!” I can’t believe my ears.

Tanner shrugs. “Our mortgage isn’t huge, and I’m not really about money. And it’s not something Roo’s ever had to worry about.”

I will never understand not being motivated by money. It’s just … unnatural. “I’ll do it.” The words fall out of my mouth before I’m even sure what I’d do with them.

Circus snorts. “No, you won’t.”

“It’s twenty-five thousand dollars. I would do just about anything for that kind of money.”

He turns a blank expression on me. “Including punching someone in the face? Oh, wait, no. You do that for free.”

The excitement that had been building slowly shrivels up. Thinking for even one second that he’d consider doing anything like that with me was stupid. I’m pretty sure Circus would rather give up the contract completely than let me at that kind of money.

And damn, it’s a lot of money.

With that kind of cash, I could get out from under my family and actually do something I want to do. I could leave this stupid diner behind.

But … that’s never going to happen.

I let my disappointment sink in and give him a dry smile. “Just think about it.”

Then I storm back out into the kitchen, relieve Piper of my apron, and get back to grilling burgers.

Because that is where someone like me belongs.

Just ask my grandpa. He’d say I’m atoning for my sinful thoughts, and dear God, Circus makes me have sinful thoughts.

I remember that night, five years ago. Even though I graduated the year before Circus, I still spent most of my free time with him, was addicted to him. And after seeing Circus leave Harvey’s with his date earlier that night, I couldn’t fight it anymore.

I remember how I snuck into his prom and stole him away into the back halls of the school. How I finally gave in and took the kiss I’d been dying to take for years. How Circus got on his knees and showed me what true pleasure is.

And where, in my post-orgasm high, one of my friends found us.

I’d pushed Circus up against the lockers and punched him clean in the face.

I grit my teeth against the tears that want to fall again and remind myself I don’t deserve to let out even one.

I’m a piece of shit, and those kinds of thoughts bring nothing but trouble.

I just need Circus to forgive me so I can move on.

And forget about him for good.

My house is an architectural marvel. At least that’s what the magazines it’s been featured in say.

All high ceilings and carved beams and a giant wall of glass that overlooks the creek in the gulley with the golden cliff faces of Crown Trails to the right.

I’ve filled it with expensive furniture and a photography studio, and every room has a range of plants from cacti to spider plants to string of pearls … But it still feels so fucking lifeless.

When Mom and Dad died, I’d gotten a big chunk of insurance money and an even bigger inheritance. The first thing I’d done was sell the house we lived in, clear some land in the middle of the forest, and build the biggest