Fake Friends - Saxon James Page 0,20

pales. “Maybe I shouldn’t have …”

“Relax, no one in this town knows what I do,” I cut in. “Leon’s the only one, and it’s because we know everything about each other—”

“Everything.” He pins Rowan with a look.

“And,” I continue, “he won’t say shit. Will you?”

For a rough-looking guy, he pulls off angelic well. “Wouldn’t dream of it. After all, Rowan’s leaving town soon enough.”

Rowan’s relaxed expression is long gone. His shoulders are drawn in a tight line, and he slowly closes the pizza box with such care, I swear it’s taking up every last brain cell. “You told him?”

“He tells me everything,” Leon says, taking another dig.

“Everything …” Rowan repeats. “Let me guess. You know about prom.”

“Is there something to know?”

I groan loud enough to cut them off. “You guys are pissing me off. Now put your dicks away and let’s look at some photos.”

Leon stalks over and grabs a plate, looking like he’s just won or something, while Rowan actively avoids looking at both of us.

And I don’t know why I feel guilty, but the hollowness in my gut is hard to shake.

On his way past, Rowan pushes a plate into my hands. A huge slab of pizza and fluffy, light garlic bread. I look closer.

“Is this vegetarian?”

“Well, I’m not going to force you to eat meat, am I?”

Nope, not looking into it. I’m not going to focus on the fact that somehow Rowan took the time to find out what I eat and then clearly cooked it from scratch. Because this is no fast-food pizza. It looks a little like the kind they sell at Harvey’s but … better.

It reminds me of the brownies he used to bake and bring on our outings after I mentioned once, at a church bake sale, how good they were.

Or the stupid letters he’d sneak into my backpack after I mentioned a girlfriend did it once and I thought it was kinda cool. Only unlike the girlfriend, his letters weren’t full of lyrical prose about how in love with me he was. His were all fart jokes and random thoughts that popped into his head.

I kept them all.

Until I was going through my old room before I sold the house and found them again.

I set every one of those bastards on fire.

It was clearly an emotionally stable year for me.

“Mmm, this pizza is good, city boy.” Leon takes another large bite.

“You’re welcome, sasquatch.”

Leon catches himself before he can laugh, but I’m feeling a bit disconnected from them.

It’s weird having people in my house in general.

But I can’t help wondering what tonight would have been like if Leon wasn’t here. I glance over at Rowan, and he quickly looks away.

Awkward. That’s what it would have been.

I sit down and open my laptop. It’s already hooked up to the TV I never use.

“Okay, I’ve edited most of them, but I still have some to go, so any that still have your face in them, don’t stress. I know what I’m doing.” I keep my voice as flat as possible.

I hit Play and settle back into the couch.

I’ve spent hours going over these images. Hours of looking at me and Rowan together and trying not to replay any part of yesterday. It was just another shoot. Just another job.

The photos are all out of order now, mostly showing the sequence I edited them in.

And they’re hot.

Especially the ones in my studio where we’re sharing the same sun lounger. I can feel the way Leon keeps glancing my way, watching my face with each new shot, so I school my features to be neutral, viewing the photos in the analytical way I do when I edit them and not focusing on how they make me feel.

Because that’s way too confusing to consider with this kind of attention on me.

The next picture flicks up, and Leon’s choke quickly dissolves into a laugh. “Someone was having fun.”

Oops, didn’t edit that one. In my defense, I didn’t think I needed to check for massive boner shots when it was just Rowan and me going through them. And those swimmers do nothing to hide the very prominent outline. I’d photoshopped enough of his erections out of the pictures yesterday that I’d needed to jerk off when I was done.

I quickly check Rowan’s reaction. I can’t read him from the side. “Well, if you know what I did to Circus back in the day, I guess you know why. So you’re one of three people who know I’m gay. My reaction