The Faire (Harrow Faire #5) - Kathryn Ann Kingsley Page 0,74
still feel it. Like the metal is still there. I spent three weeks on that thing—and it felt like three hundred years. I wonder if it’ll ever go away, or if it’ll be like this forever.”
“I’m sorry…I didn’t want to hurt you.” He frowned. “I didn’t know what else to do. This place is evil, Cora. Look at what it’s done to you. It’s changed you—manipulated and corrupted you. Can’t you see that? Think about who you were when you came here. How scared you were. Everything it took from you.” He stepped toward her cautiously. “You never would have agreed to help this place survive.”
“When I came here, I was alone, miserable, and in constant pain. My life was…sad. I barely mattered to people. I had my friends, and I had my fish. But I had no purpose and no meaning. Harrow Faire wasn’t wrong when it told me that I’d wind up killing myself. When I really think about it—when I really let it sink in—I can see why.”
“Simon doesn’t love you.”
“I know.” She smirked sadly. “He can’t. More importantly, he doesn’t want to. And that’s all right. He cares about me in his own way. He loves me as much as he’s capable of loving anyone or anything except himself. And that’s more than some people in this world have. I have to be happy with that.” She looked off toward the observation tower, with its bright white lights standing out against the dark sky. “His shadow was alive, you know.”
“What?”
“His freaky shadow.” She wiggled her fingers and did a stupid grin. “Y’know.”
“I know what you’re talking about—but—it was alive?” Jack wrinkled up his nose.
“Well, not literally. But he could think, and act, and…” She shut her eyes and tried not to tear up. She missed that shadow. She missed him a great deal. “He was a part of Simon. The part of him that could love. And that part of him loved me.”
“Loved? Past tense? What happened?”
“He—” She paused. “He died.” She looked back to Jack. “He sacrificed himself to save me from that statue. I didn’t free myself. He burned himself out when he did.” She smiled sadly. “And he did it because he loved me. Have I changed? Yeah. I have. I lost a piece of myself the moment I set foot in here. I lost a piece of myself when Clown died and transferred the link to me. I lost a piece of myself when I agreed to become whatever-the-fuck-I-am-now.” She gestured down at herself. “You aren’t abominations, Jack. But I am."
“And that’s why this place has to be stopped, Cora. That’s why this place has to be destroyed. Because it’ll keep taking from everybody. Just like it did from you.”
“No, Jack. You didn’t let me finish. I’ve lost pieces of myself. But I’ve been given back so much more in return.”
“Like power?” Jack grunted in disgust.
“I don’t give a shit about the power, Jack.” She took a gentle step toward him, not wanting to startle him. “I don’t want the power. I’ll take it, I guess, because I have to. But I’m only fighting to keep us all alive because I think we’re worth it. Even ignoring Simon and what we have going on, I look at everyone here—at Rudy, Bertha, Aaron, Louis, Elena, Bruce, and all the rest of you—and I see beauty. I see people who are happy and who laugh together. I see how Rudy cares for his animals. I see how Donna and Rick look at each other with such love that it makes me want to cry. Who am I to call those people monsters? Who am I to say they don’t deserve to live? Even you, Jack…you cared about me from the moment I set foot in this place. You looked out for me. Tried to protect me. You’re my friend.”
Jack looked down at his feet. “Pretty sure I lost the right to call you a friend when I helped Turk tie you up in chains and throw you over a railing.”
“No. You didn’t.” She took his hand. He jumped, startled, and winced as if waiting for something. For what? Right. I can drain souls. I forgot about that. “I’m not going to hurt you, Jack. I promise.”
“We steal from other people’s souls to live.”
Cora smirked. “Not souls. Souls are cheap.” When Jack looked up, confused, she shook her head. “Never mind. I know what you’re saying. And yes…we do. But we could be taking so