Fair Lakes Series Box Set - Kaylee Ryan Page 0,185

her.

“Yeah, I mean he’s grown just in the time we’ve had him. He won’t be this tiny little man for long. I think we should capture that. We need all the ammo we can get for when he’s a teenager.”

I love that she’s putting herself in our lives years from now. “You make the call, babe.”

“He’s your—” she starts, but the look I give her shuts her up.

“We’re a team, Gabby. You’re here, in his life, helping me raise him. You can make those decisions for him. I want you to. Hell, I need you to.”

“You don’t need me to.”

“Maybe, but I don’t want to find out what it’s like to not have you there to make them. Not because I want you to take care of my kid, but because I want you in my life. I want you in my son’s life. I want this future you speak of, and torturing him with adorable pictures when he’s a teenager. I want the life you’ve painted.”

“Okay.” She nods. Her eyes are glassy with tears and I know she gets it, that my words are spoken from my heart. “Milo, guess what, buddy?” she asks, resting her hand on his back, on the top of mine. “You’re going with Soph tomorrow to get your pictures taken.” She smiles. “Lucky for you, I have the perfect outfit.” She grins down at my son.

“I’ll give you my card to get some copies. I want to give some to Mom and Dad and send a few to Colt.” I called my parents a few days ago and told them about Milo. They didn’t even question, just wanted to know when they could meet him. I’m reluctant until we know for sure, but at the same time, this little guy deserves all the love and attention we can give him.

“Have you heard from him?”

I tamp down the worry when it comes to my big brother and his career. “No, but when I do, he’s going to get the surprise of his life when he finds out that he’s an uncle.”

“Maybe he can help shed some light on that night.”

“I doubt it. He was messed up. Completely out of it. He was worse than me the next day. I just have to accept the fact that I don’t remember much the night this little guy was made.” She sucks in a breath, and I look up to find her eyes welling with tears. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be insensitive.”

“No, I just… I wish it were me.”

Her confession steals the breath from my lungs. It’s the first time she’s voiced that she has deep-rooted feelings for me. Oh, I know she loves my son, and she cares for me, but without saying the words she’s told me that, her actions tell me all I need to know, it’s okay that she can’t say it. She loves me. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am, Gabby. I hate that I did this to us. That I can’t remember. I— All I saw was you, so the fact that we’re holding my son right now as a result of that night, I still can’t seem to wrap my head around it. It doesn’t make sense, yet he’s here.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” She bites down on her bottom lip, which tells me she’s worried about my reaction.

“Never be sorry for telling me how you feel. I want you to be able to be open and honest with me.” I worry she’s going to realize what an undertaking this is and leave.

“I’m not mad at you. We weren’t together, Chase. Hell, if anything, I’m mad at myself. I fought the attraction I felt for you for way too long. Maybe… maybe if I’d pulled my head out of my ass sooner and admitted what was really between us wasn’t hate at all, things would be different.”

“Maybe, but I was just as bad. I could have sat you down and took time to be serious and tell you how I felt about you. I’m just as much to blame in that regard.”

“Yeah,” she says softly, her eyes raking over my son. “But then we wouldn’t have this little guy. And no matter how much we hate the circumstances, we love him,” she says, leaning in and kissing the top of his little head.

Lifting my arm, she slides up next to me, resting her head against my shoulder. I pull her close and everything is right