the back of my…” Miss Carrol’s words trailed off as her eyes took in the sight of Nell’s enormous bun attached to the baby in Iris’s arms.
“What in the Sam Hill is going on?” Miss Carrol demanded. “Why has that baby got my aunt’s hair? And why is Anyan licking himself in ways improper to either man or barghest?”
I sighed, looking over to find that Anyan was indeed getting frisky with himself. Again.
“Miss Carrol,” I said, trying to keep the immature gnome in check. “There’s been an accident, as you can see. Anyan and Nell were… what? Regressed?”
“Regressed?” Miss Carrol repeated.
“She’s a baby and he’s a dog,” Iris replied, helpfully.
“I can see that, sugar.” Miss Carrol’s voice dripped syrupy venom. “But how did this happen?”
“I’m sure you know Gus was attacked last night,” I explained. “We went to investigate this morning and found a hole underneath his boulder. In it was a cavern full of crystals. If you touched them the right way, they made this sigil thing pop up out of the ground.”
“But it was locked,” Iris added.
“Yeah, so Nell and Anyan threw all this power at it and… bam! One baby and one doggie, at your service,” I finished.
“Well, ain’t that a bitch,” Miss Carrol swore. “How are you gonna turn ’em back?”
Blondie sighed. “I have no idea. I’ve tried everything I know. I’ll send out some requests for help to see if anyone has ever seen anything like this before. But in the meantime, they’re just going to have to stay that way.”
“They can’t stay that way,” I said, my voice shrill.
We haven’t had sex yet! my libido keened, unable to believe the object of its affections had managed to give “doggie-style” a completely pejorative connotation.
“Well, they’re going to have to,” Blondie said, grimly. “Either we come up with something ourselves, or we learn something through figuring out what’s going on here in Rockabill. Maybe whatever is making these people talk is responsible for what happened to Nell and Anyan. We have to get to the bottom of everything.”
“Now,” I added, helpfully.
“Sugar, we need to have figured this here problem out about ten minutes ago,” Miss Carrol said, shaking her head.
“Mmm-hmmm,” Iris and I hummed, lured by the siren’s song of the immature gnome’s inexplicable Southern accent into thinking we, too, could sound like Miss Scarlett.
“You know what you need to do,” Blondie told Miss Carrol, her voice solemn. I looked between the two of them, not sure what was going on.
“I can’t,” Miss Carrol said, pleadingly. “It ain’t right. I can’t just take it from her.”
“I don’t think you have a choice,” was Blondie’s only reply.
Shit, I thought, finally realizing what was happening. Miss Carrol might have to take over Nell’s Territory.
And while that sounded like an ideal answer to our problems, it was anything but. For if Miss Carrol bonded with the land, it would be hers until something happened to rip it away from her. Usually, and except with the interference of ancient Alfar magics, that happened with death.
In other words, Miss Carrol couldn’t just bond with Nell’s land and then give it back to her when her aunt grew up or we reversed the curse. If Miss Carrol took Nell’s land, it was hers until she died. Leaving Nell with nothing.
“There has to be another way,” Trill said, panic edging her voice.
Blondie looked at the kelpie sympathetically, but her voice was steel. “Nell’s Territory is under attack and now it’s unprotected. The weaker creatures here,” she began, waving in Gus’s direction. The stone spirit had peanut butter slathered over most of his chin. “The weaker creatures here will be completely vulnerable without Nell’s protections. You’ve got to step in.”
Miss Carrol shook her head. “I can’t just take it from her like that. This is her home.”
“She might not live to remember how much she loves it if you don’t protect her,” Blondie said, her voice sharpening incrementally.
“Wait,” I said. “This isn’t fair to any of us, especially Nell. There has to be another way. What are the stages you go through to bond with the land, Miss Carrol? Or do you just… bond?”
“No, there are stages, sugar. It doesn’t happen all at once.”
“And are there stages where you can still withdraw?” I asked.
“Why sure. Up until you’re fully bonded, you can always opt out.”
Blondie looked at me, warningly. “Miss Carrol can start the process, Jane, but if she doesn’t finish it she’s not going to have any real power.”