“Mmph.” It wasn’t words, but it was definitely positive. After a moment, he murmured, “Where’s Kelly?”
“Probably home by now.”
“Mmm. Good.” And then his breathing slowed, and I smiled into the darkness as he slept against me. It wasn’t even the sex and subspace that had knocked him out. Sleep had never been a challenge for Aaron. Planes, trains, cars, a catnap in his office between clients—he could sleep any time, any place.
Me? Not so much. Sometimes I resorted to things like NyQuil and ZzQuil. If I didn’t have to be anywhere the next day, weed. But even those didn’t knock me out the way just closing his eyes put Aaron to sleep.
Tonight, like most nights, my mind was racing now that I didn’t have a submissive or a project to hold my focus. It didn’t matter that I was physically and mentally exhausted. This was how I was more often than not, and if my brain managed to grab on to something, then there was no stopping it until I basically passed out from exhaustion.
In this case, that something was Kelly. In particular, everything we’d talked about downstairs and everything we’d done in this room with Aaron.
He’d shown a few cards in the living room. I’d need to be vigilant about his state of mind when we played; it was entirely possible he’d be fine, but grief and unresolved issues could elbow their way in at inopportune moments. As controlled as Kelly seemed to be when he was swinging a flogger, there was still that chance—however minute—that he could start thinking about his dickbag of a father at the worst possible time and inadvertently take that out on Aaron.
Kelly seemed to be an open book. Willing to discuss his situation despite only knowing us for a short time. I’d take that as a good sign that, at the very least, he could compartmentalize well enough not to injure a submissive. He seemed to have his head screwed on straight enough as a submissive that he wouldn’t take it personally if I kept everything he’d told us tucked into the back of my mind when we played. Safety first and all that.
And I was glad things seemed to be moving in the right direction with him, because after this evening, there was no doubt that the three of us were compatible. He hadn’t pushed Aaron’s pain tolerance beyond the levels I usually did, which made me trust him that much more. He was carefully testing the water and building trust before he went farther. Aaron was obviously comfortable with him so far. I was comfortable if the two of them decided to crank up the intensity going forward.
And watching Kelly fuck Aaron’s face while I rode Aaron’s ass—that was something to tuck away and think about later the next time I was getting myself off.
For Aaron’s sake, I was thrilled that Kelly really had turned out to be a good match, but I was admittedly nervous because of that too. Now that he’d clicked with us so well, this would probably go on for a while. How long, it was impossible to say, but it would be more than a one-time scene at a leather club or at Mansion House, the local place where we went to play parties sometimes. And I hoped he did stick around as long as he filled in where I couldn’t be what Aaron needed.
But what if we got attached to him?
What if Aaron got attached to him?
Because Kelly was bringing something to the table that Aaron had needed badly enough that it had created tension between us for months. He’d been worried I’d leave him over it. Deep down, I’d been afraid he’d leave.
I was mostly sure that neither of us was actually worried that divorce was on the table. It was just that kneejerk panic response when something, however small, jostled the status quo. It reminded me a little of someone slamming a door or bumping into a shelf, causing some valuable heirloom to rattle despite being attached securely enough that a large earthquake wouldn’t knock it loose. The fear was less about how likely the thing actually was to fall, and more about what would happen if it did.
Now we had Kelly, and I wanted to believe this meant we had even less to worry about than before. But damn if I didn’t have a fresh batch of worries that hadn’t crossed my mind before we’d received that