a gentle kiss, and then we just lay there for a moment, panting and trembling.
And I had to admit, it took some work not to cry with sheer relief.
No, this hadn’t solved everything. Yeah, we still had work to do. But we’d made it back to our bed and into each other’s arms. That made everything else sound a hell of a lot less daunting.
We eventually did separate long enough to share a shower, and then we returned to our bed. Cuddled up in the middle beneath the covers, we lay there in silence for a long time. It had been less than twenty-four hours, but it felt like longer. Physically, we’d only been a few miles apart, but we might as well have been on opposite sides of the continent. Now I needed some time to just settle. To be close to him and reassure myself that last night hadn’t been the end of anything.
Except last night wasn’t completely resolved yet, either.
My heart picked up speed again, and my stomach knotted. Shifting onto my side, I faced Will. “So, um… Kelly texted me. Not just the group chat, but separately.”
Will nodded. “Me too. I haven’t responded. I didn’t know what to say.”
“Neither did I.” I avoided Will’s gaze. “I still don’t. I… I mean, I meant what I said last night. I do have feelings for him. I care about him a lot, and—”
“So do I.”
My head snapped up.
Will ran his fingers along my collar, and his hand was as unsteady as his voice. “I’ve worried for a while that you were getting in too deep with him, and I was afraid to say anything because… Well, because I was afraid I was right.” He rested his hand on the side of my neck. “But after you both left last night?” Will sighed. “I realized the other reason I hadn’t been able to say something was that I didn’t want to lose him. And…not just as a play partner.”
“You didn’t?”
“No.” His fingers drifted into my hair. “I love you, and I would move heaven and earth for you. That hasn’t changed at all. But I…” He swallowed. “I love him too.”
My heart fluttered. “Really?”
He nodded. “So, I’m sorry I got so pissed at you last night. I did the same damn thing, but I freaked out at you because I’ve been so worried he was a greener pasture for you.”
“What?” I took his hand and pressed a kissed to his palm. “No way. Everything I feel for him, it’s separate from what I feel for you. He’s not replacing you or elbowing you out.” I squeezed his hand tighter. “Nobody could replace you. Ever.”
Will released a breath. “I doubt many people are as difficult to live with as I am.”
I smiled, shaking my head. “You’ve been putting up with my shit for twenty years, and I’ve been putting up with yours. I wouldn’t change a thing.”
He held my gaze, and after a moment, he finally gave a soft laugh. Lifting his chin, he brushed his lips across mine. “Neither would I.”
We paused for a long, gentle kiss.
As we settled back on the pillow, I asked, “So…Kelly. What do we do?”
Will’s eyes lost focus for a moment. After a while, he met my gaze again. “Like you said, I know we didn’t want to do the poly thing, but I think it kind of happened on its own. So maybe we just roll with that?”
I chewed my lip. My kneejerk reaction was to insist that we shouldn’t be poly, but he was right—while neither of us was paying attention, we’d each fallen in love with Kelly.
Meeting Will’s eyes, I said, “So how do we do this? Because I don’t want to lose either of you.”
“Neither do I.” He smoothed my hair, unaware of how much that comforting gesture almost broke me.
Thank God I have you back.
Voice soft, he said, “We’ll figure it out. First things first, I think we need to talk to Kelly.”
Stomach somersaulting, I nodded. “Yeah. We should.”
“If he says no….” Will sighed. “I mean, it’ll hurt like hell. No doubt about that. But we’re still good.”
Another rush of relief went through me. “I hope he doesn’t say no, though. I really don’t want to lose him.”
“Neither do I.”
Our eyes locked.
And I wondered if he was as scared as I was that Kelly was gone.
Forty-Five
Kelly
I’d fucked up. I’d fucked up so bad.
Aaron and Will had insisted that using a safe word wasn’t a deal-breaker, but I’d texted them