of being poly with the man who’d brought something to the table that he couldn’t?
Fuck. Fuck!
“Talk to him,” Tom nudged. “He’s a reasonable guy.”
I nodded. “Yeah. I will.” Eventually.
Tom watched me silently. He probably thought I was a coward, and what could I say? The shoe fit. When it came to even brushing up against the possibility of losing Will, I was a coward. That was why I’d been so freaked out about even pursuing a third—because I was afraid Will would decide I was more headache than I was worth, and instead of bringing in a third, I’d be watching Will leave.
And last night, I’d been the one to leave. I’d been so stupid with emotion and heartbroken over Kelly and sure I’d fucked up royally with Will by having those feelings for Kelly, and I’d needed to get away from him before…
Before what, Aaron? Before Will left? Because that makes sense.
None of it made sense. And none of it would make sense until Will and I hashed this out, and because I was too scared to call him or text him, I waited until our usual lunch time. As I left the office, my leather collar heavier around my neck than it usually was, I was more nervous than I’d ever been on the way to see my husband.
Please be there, I thought over and over. Please be there because I’m terrified to reach out to you.
My eyes stung, and I told myself it was the wind, not a result of thinking, Please be there so I know you want to come back from this.
The coffee shop came into view, and my stomach somersaulted. This was a moment of truth that made me nervous as all hell.
In the past, if Will and I had gotten into a fight and hadn’t resolved it by that morning, we’d both still show up for our lunch date at Bold Brew. Neither of us called, texted, or emailed. I’d show up at my usual time, and he’d be at our usual table, and even if we didn’t resolve things over lunch, it was like this quiet reassurance that we’d be okay. We’d still have to talk our way through, and things might get worse before they got better, but we were both committed. We’d do it. We’d get past whatever we’d been fighting over, just like always.
So the question was, would Will be here today?
With my heart pounding and my stomach in knots, I pulled open Bold Brew’s front door and stepped inside, the familiar smells of coffee and food hitting me in the face. Once I was clear of the doorway and wouldn’t block anyone, I stopped, and I looked around the coffee shop.
Our table was occupied, but not by us. That happened sometimes—we liked that spot by the window and away from everyone else, but if it was occupied when Will arrived, he’d just take another table.
He wasn’t at another table.
Max was there, parked by the fireplace with a laptop where he always was when I teased Tom about getting his number.
A woman I recognized from my accountant’s office squinted at her phone by herself at a table for four.
And two college-aged kids looked out of place as they kept showing each other things on their phones and laughing in between sipping their coffees or nibbling on sandwiches.
They didn’t look out of place in Bold Brew—hell, they were practically the target demographic. They were just all wrong sitting at our table. Mostly because they weren’t Will, and Will wasn’t here, and…
Fuck.
Will wasn’t here.
With my heart in my throat, I texted him:
Are we still on for lunch?
An hour later, he hadn’t replied.
And he still hadn’t come to the coffee shop.
And I had no idea where we went from here.
Forty-Two
Kelly
Hey guys, can we talk about last night?
Read by Aaron.
Read by Will.
I wasn’t in a good space last night. I’d really like to talk.
Read by Aaron.
I fucked up. I’m sorry.
Read by Will.
Guys?
Forty-Three
Will
The texts from Kelly were killing me. I wanted to respond. I wanted to reach out to him. I just didn’t know what to say. How did I explain to him that Aaron had left shortly after he had? Or why?
I stared at the messages I’d received but hadn’t responded to. The guilt was unbearable, but every time I even thought about responding, I hit a wall. I drew a blank. Nothing came, because I had no idea how to deal with any of this.