I closed my eyes and groaned. I needed to get a grip. Okay, I probably needed to cut myself some slack because I was grieving, not to mention trying like hell to figure out how to grieve. I was going to be an emotional train wreck for a while, and the healthy thing to do would be to make peace with that, buckle up, and ride it out.
But right now, I would have given just about everything to be in their bedroom. We didn’t even have to play. I was pretty sure I didn’t have the physical or mental capacity for that tonight. I just wanted to be there. With them. In their bed.
I pulled up the covers, trying to chase away the chill, which I was probably imagining because I was so hyper aware of Will and Aaron’s absence.
What the fuck was I doing, pining after a married couple? It wasn’t like I was in love with them or wanted to butt into their relationship. I just….wanted to be there more than I wanted to be here. I loved everything I did with Will and Aaron. The part where I came home afterward and slept alone? That sucked.
Or the part where some evenings—like tonight—I didn’t even see them at all? And then I slept alone? That sucked too.
Swearing under my breath, I rubbed my tired eyes. I was being seriously stupid, but I just couldn’t shake the feeling of this bed being lonely, cold, and empty. Will and Aaron had probably turned in for the night by now, assuming Will wasn’t up late working on something. Right now, on the other side of town, they could be cuddled up together under the covers in that super comfy bed, enjoying each other’s warmth and affection. And fuck me, but I would have given just about anything to be with them right now.
I knew what our arrangement was, and I knew what it wasn’t.
But damn if that stopped my eyes from welling up tonight.
Why do I miss you guys so much?
Twenty-Seven
Will
Lying in our bed with Aaron between us, I watched Kelly smoothing lotion onto the welts he’d left on my husband’s shoulders. Aaron was starting to doze as he often did, head resting on his folded arms as he breathed slowly and evenly, only flinching now and again when Kelly’s fingers brushed a spot that must have been too tender or ticklish to ignore.
The scene had been a hot one, and Aaron was clearly satisfied. So was I—hard not to be after watching the two of them play and then fucking Aaron’s ass while he’d sucked Kelly off. We were working up to the intensity we’d brought Kelly in to provide, but it was a slow process. It meant a lot of pain play that was milder even than what Aaron and I had done together, steadily increasing as we all got a feel for each other and the mutual trust deepened.
Tonight, we’d still been well within the realms of what I would’ve been comfortable giving Aaron. A cat o’nine tails across his shoulders. Vicious nipple clamps that seemed to be a staple in Kelly’s repertoire, much to my delight. An exceptionally mean paddle that had left a beautiful crisscross pattern over Aaron’s gorgeous ass. Watching my cock disappear between his battered cheeks had been the perfect way to cap off such a hot scene, especially since he’d been groaning around Kelly’s dick the entire time. When all was said and done, everyone had fallen into bed—naked, sweaty, completely satisfied, and already talking about what kinds of fun we’d have when Kelly came over again tomorrow night.
But something was off now.
Kelly had been all in while we’d played, and he carefully focused on Aaron’s aftercare, but as we all wound down, he was…not quite here. It was hard to say if something had gone awry during the scene, or if some existing cracks were showing now that he was trying to relax As if he’d been trying to keep something out of sight
“Hey.” I watched him over Aaron. “You all right?”
“Hmm?” He glanced up at me. Then, shaking his head, he focused again on the lines he’d carved into Aaron’s shoulders. “I’m good.”
I didn’t buy it. Carefully schooling my tone so there wasn’t so much as a hint of my Dom voice, I asked, “Are you?”
Kelly cringed a little. With a sigh, he shifted onto his elbow, and he focused on capping the lotion bottle.