Exposure - Kelly Moran Page 0,32

swallowed just as slowly. "Seven. Why?"

He shrugged. "Just curious. Do you remember anything about your life before?"

She faced the fire, chopsticks stabbing her food. "A little here and there. It's mostly small flashes. I don't know how accurate they are."

Talking about this bothered her, judging by the stiffness in her spine and avoidance of her eyes. She didn't put up walls against him, not often. "What do you remember?"

"I told you, it comes in spurts--"

"I heard you. Why are you getting defensive?"

She glanced up and let out a harsh exhale. "I'm not. I just don't like talking about it."

His spine turned to ice. Her personality, mannerisms, and inability to make love normally all blinked through his conscious. He liked her just as she was, but was pushing for more. Because she deserved that. Sexual creatures like her should never be contained, especially behind fear. Did any of her walls have to do with those formidable years?

"Why don't you like talking about it?'

She set the carton aside and hugged her knees to her chest.

The ice along his spine spread to other areas. "Raven."

She closed her eyes. Shook her head. Sighed. "Do you remember hearing in the news about that naturist group in California, Lambs of Christ? We were young when they disbanded."

Wondering what the hell this had to do with anything, his gaze got lost in the flames as he thought back. He'd certainly heard of them. They were one of those cult groups in southern Cali. "A little. Weren't the leaders arrested on weapons charges?"

"Among other things. I think most of the members, like my birth parents, went into it thinking they'd live in a small, Christian community to raise their daughter. By the time I was starting to babble, it was too late to get out." Her voice went reflective. "According to my mom, some tried to leave the group and were never seen again."

If he tried to move, he'd snap. That's how tight, how cold, her words left him. "You were raised in a cult?"

Her gaze whipped to his as if she sensed his tension. "All I know is what my mom told me. I have almost no memory of it."

She pried the carton away from his fingers before he could crush it to a pulp. Grabbing her wine, she leaned against the couch. "From what I understand, the kids slept in a separate bunker from their parents and were treated well. After their school studies, they helped farm the fields." She cleared her throat. "My parents died during the ATF raid. My mother was living in the area at the time, heard about a lot of the newly orphaned kids, and adopted me. A shrink told her it might be best to move me from familiar settings, so she packed us up and we've been in Alaska ever since."

The air slowly seeped from his lungs. He forced himself to draw more in. Two weeks ago, she'd told him she'd never been abused or assaulted. He'd believed her. Of course he had, but doubt niggled in the back of his mind there was more going on than her need for control. She may not remember it, but something had happened to her back then that made her like this today.

He doubted she even realized it. When they'd first started going at each other, she wouldn't let him touch her. Now, he did so freely, but he had to go slowly in the beginning. She didn't like enclosed spaces and hated surprises of any kind.

He looked over to find her watching him. Grabbing his own wine, he downed half the glass. They had sex often, in a multitude of positions. All but one. He never thought he'd crave the missionary position so damn much. The only time she panicked anymore was when he was on top of her.

"You won't let me make love to you on top. Have you noticed that?" Against the wall, her riding him, him from behind??idn't matter. She was fine. As long as they were vertical.

She frowned, confusion marring her face. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Satisfied he'd put the notion in her head, he set his wine down and crawled on all fours over to her. She'd analyze what he said and dissect it until she figured out a solution. He just needed to set her on the path.

But now? He needed to sink inside her and forget the things she'd told him. If he let the vision of a younger version of Raven cement