Expensive - Amy Bellows Page 0,8
on my ear. My heart races as his fingers inch down, slipping under the waistband my jeans, then the band of my underwear. I hold my breath, scared that if I breathe—if I move at all—he’ll stop.
His fingers find my cock and cup me. My breath catches. Timber is touching me. My entire body crackles like a live wire. I don’t know how to move, how to think.
He chuckles softly in my ear. “That list you gave me, baby boy. It’s branded in my mind.” He circles his thumb around my tip, and I whimper. “So many kinky things.” He squeezes my shaft. My knees soften. I don’t think I can stand while he’s touching me like this.
“I want to play with you for just a few minutes, then we’ll go have some fun in the sunshine, okay? As I recall, you requested the stoplight system. You can tell me yellow or red at any time, and I’ll respect your boundaries.”
Does that mean he’s going to do something he’s worried I won’t consent to? Already? I thought we were going to ease into it. In his videos, Timber’s always so gentle in the beginning. Is he not going to be gentle with me?
He kisses the crook of my neck, the roughness of his beard tickling my skin. “Shhhh. It’s okay.” He strokes up and down my shaft. “I’ll go slow with you.” He pushes my pants down to my thighs. “Make you feel good.” My underwear comes down next. I close my eyes and bury my nose in his neck. I’m not a porn star. What if he’s disappointed?
Then I remember that he probably doesn’t care what I look like. He’s just here to get paid.
He sucks my earlobe into his mouth and worries it with his teeth. I arch my chest, which doesn’t make any sense. But he’s encircling my cock with his fingers, and I don’t have control over my body anymore.
“Walk this way, boy.” The tone of his voice is deep and firm. He releases my cock and guides me to the window. “Lean your body against the glass.”
I want to obey him. Semi-public sex was on my list, but now that we’re here, I’m not sure I’m ready.
He steps in front of me, brushing his nose against mine. “If this isn’t what you want, you can tell me.”
I close my eyes. He’s so close. All I would have to do is lean forward to brush my lips against his. I didn’t specify kissing in the contract. He doesn’t do it with all his scene partners just the ones he’s been working with for a long time. I figured it would be a dealbreaker for him. But I feel his breath on my lips, and it’s hard not to imagine what it would feel like.
Timber steps back. “If this is too much too soon, we can go to the beach.”
I open my eyes and stare at the window.
“Will you… hurt me?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Not right now.”
I walk slowly to the edge of the room. The sky stretches out before us, the bright white of the sun reflecting off the waves like glitter. I see small dark shapes off in the distance that might be people.
The last time someone saw me having sex, I didn’t have any control. It wasn’t a choice. This time it would be. Timber’s letting me choose.
I place my hands on the window and lean my body against the cool glass.
Through the reflection in the window, I watch Timber yank off his T-shirt. It’s surreal to see the enormous dragon tattoo that spans his chest and wraps around his waist in person. In interviews, he said it was an ice dragon who invaded the breeding pits where he was held captive. She froze the guards and set everyone free. His tattoo has pale-blue scales and sharp teeth but soft, kind eyes. It embodies what I love best about him: a kindness that’s fierce when necessary.
He runs a hand up and down my back, bending his neck to kiss my shoulder. “This body, baby boy, it’s perfect.”
I close my eyes. My body is humming under his touch, my heart racing, and yet, I feel calm. Safe. As Timber’s hands run along the outside of my arms, I want to stop time. Timber said I could pay to have sex with him “regularly.” What does regularly mean, exactly? How often can I ask for his services before I seem too needy?
His hands move