Expensive - Amy Bellows Page 0,24
me cold. Andrew should have control over his own life, and if being with me is what he wants, is it fair for his father to hold him back from that? Even if this is his bond ache talking, isn’t he going to have a bond ache for the rest of his life? At what point does Andrew end and his bond ache begin? Are all his desires and wishes invalid now?
And he said “making love.” Andrew isn’t asking me to be his hired knot anymore.
I don’t know if I can deny him.
“How would something like that work?” I ask.
The corner of his mouth quirks up. “I don’t know. We could get burner phones and meet up in seedy motels.” His lips spread into a full smile. “Wear disguises.”
There are so many ways that could go wrong. But I want to be with Andrew more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life, and he wants me badly too—bad enough to risk everything.
My knot softens within him. I’ve never knotted a man outside of the pits. There, it was only a matter of minutes before the omega beneath me would start asking for a different knot. I feel a compulsion to get out of this bed, just like my compulsion to eat fast.
I push it down. I’m not ready to leave Andrew. Not yet.
“Okay. No to the seedy motels. That’s a terrible idea. But… I want to be with you.”
He twists in my arms until we’re face to face. “Really?”
I run my thumb along his neck, gently brushing the would-be bond bite. “Yes, but we have to be careful. And you need to convince your father that things between us are over.”
“Even if it means… sleeping with other men?” he asks in a soft voice, his determination from earlier faltering.
I shake my head. “Not that. Never that. You should never feel forced to have sex.”
He visibly relaxes.
“If it’s alright with you, I don’t want to get paid for this weekend,” I say.
His eyes widen. “But we signed a contract—”
“A contract that we can rip up and forget about.” I press a kiss to his forehead. “This is important to me, baby boy. Money can’t be a part of our arrangement. I won’t settle for being your hired knot if we’re going to take this risk. This is a relationship for me.”
Andrew snuggles into me, tucking his head underneath my chin. “Okay, Daddy.”
He couldn’t be clearer about his need to be cared for in that moment. It’s not surprising. The conversation with his father was stressful, and the potential loss of our connection clearly shook him.
We have all night to figure out what will come next. For now, we can take a break.
“Would you read to me, baby boy? I’d like to hear what happens to Frankenstein’s monster.”
He pushes himself up and gives me a shy smile with a slight duck of his head. He did something similar when I suggested he get a sprinkle cone at the ice cream shop. I remember thinking it was sweet.
He climbs out of bed and walks across the room to where his suitcase is still open and spilling over with books. The way he moves is different than the way he walked on our way back to the hotel. His shoulders sway a little more with every step and his stride is shorter.
Almost like a child.
I’ve been in the BDSM community long enough to have an idea of what that might mean. There are some subs who regress to a younger age from time to time. I’ve never played with a boy like that before because they generally wanted relationships, and I’m muzzled.
When Andrew walks back to me with that specific gait, it feels a lot like watching someone slip into subspace. It’s milder, and he’s more coherent, but the change in him still elicits an emotional reaction in me. It’s not the heady thrill I sometimes get when I take control of a scene but rather a yearning to hold him in my arms and bring another smile to his sweet lips.
“Come sit on my lap, baby boy.”
As he gets onto the bed he almost jumps, just like he did at the ice cream shop. Then he stops himself, his movements more deliberate now as he climbs over to me.
“You can be yourself around me, you know,” I say as he sits in my lap. I wrap my arms around him. “You don’t have to hold back. I’m your Daddy now.”
He smiles with