Expensive - Amy Bellows Page 0,21
looking at me now—like I’m someone he could love. It was so easy to get carried away with Andrew. He’s everything I could ever want and more. It’s heartbreaking to know I’m the wrong alpha for him. As much as I hate to admit it, Andrew does need someone discreet who the Monroes will consider acceptable. Nothing about me or my life is discreet. Andrew isn’t mine, and he never will be.
I have to accept that.
“C’mon, baby boy,” I say, taking his hand.
If there’s anything I learned in the pits, it’s that you have to savor the good when it comes.
Andrew and I have one last night together.
I’m not going to waste it.
11
Andrew
Timber opens the door to our suite, pulling me inside.
“We can still keep our contract,” I say.
He doesn’t argue with me. He simply shuts the door and steps closer to me until our faces are only inches apart.
“We could keep it a secret. I can filter the money for your contract through another—”
“Let’s not worry about that for now, alright?” He tucks some of my hair behind my ear. “We still have a full twenty-four hours together.”
He sounds like he’s already given up. And why shouldn’t he? This was just a job to him, and now that job has become a lot more complicated.
Not to mention what my father said about him. No wonder he wants to cut ties with me.
His mouth inches closer to mine. It startles me so much I almost pull away. He isn’t going to kiss me, is he? There are only three scene partners he ever kisses, and he’s known them all since he started doing porn. I couldn’t possibly be that lucky, especially not after what happened in the hallway.
“I know that you’ve paid me for sex.” He brushes his nose against mine. His words don’t feel finished. Like he’s stopped in the middle of a sentence.
He closes his eyes and presses his lips to mine. I keep perfectly still. I don’t know why he’s doing this—maybe it’s because he feels sorry for me—but I never want him to stop. His lips are so soft. Such a contrast to his big, powerful body.
He breaks the kiss. “What if I want more than sex tonight? What if I want to make love to you?”
My heart leaps in my chest. Timber wants to make love to me? I don’t understand. I thought he was done with me.
Maybe it isn’t something he wants but something he’s offering as a consolation prize—an apology.
“If you’d rather not—” he starts, but I interrupt him.
“No, I want to. Please.”
This is something I’d never dare ask for—something I never thought I’d get to have with anyone. Even if he’s only offering because he feels sorry for me, I still want it.
He kisses me again. “You don’t have to—” I try to say, but Timber pushes his tongue inside my mouth, and I can’t think. His arms pull me close, his mouth devouring mine. I don’t know if the wetness on my cheeks is from my eyes or his. The groan that rumbles through us seems to come from him, but it could be me. I can’t tell the difference anymore.
Our bodies move together into the bedroom and toward the bed. It’s a strange dance, but I know the steps without having to think. Our tongues are dancing too, the texture of his against mine enough to make my whole body sing.
If only this was a kink. A thing I could put on a list for whatever guy my dad hires for me. If only I hadn’t sold my chance for a true connection with someone for a huge empty house I don’t even want.
My back hits the mattress, and Timber’s body covers me like a heavy blanket. He’s more grounding than Frankie, more comforting than my books. Our lips meet, and he rocks on top of me while we kiss.
I know the tears are his this time. They drop onto my skin.
What does that mean?
He slides my shirt up, his mouth leaving mine to trail wet kisses down my sternum and toward my belly. I pull my shirt off.
“So beautiful. I would do anything,” he says, locking his mouth on my nipple and sucking. Pleasure shoots through me. “Anything, baby boy. If only…”
I feel his words deep in my heart, and I wish this didn’t have to end. Despite what it would cost, I’d do anything to be with him. I’d give anything to show him I could be what